pilot
by Suki issunsakihayami
Summary: After 4 years Heero seems to be back in Makoto's life, but what other forces seem to be pushing them apart? Warning (Trowa + Quatre relationship)
1. prolougue

okay this is like a pilot thing, i started it and way wondering what you all would think abou it. if you want me to contiue i will but please note if i continue it the chapters in wartime passion will be slowed down. (it's halfway complete for those who where wondering.)  
*angel!*  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The confusion of love (pilot)  
by *Angel!*, angel of darkness  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"But, Heero!" she yelled at him."what about me?"   
  
He remained silent.  
  
"why are you doing this!? why are you pushing me away?"  
  
"I'm not." he stated slowly his back turned away from her, he couldn't bear to look at her cry.   
  
"But Heero!" she yelled again hoping to get a decent answer out of him. "I love you." she whispered tears running down her face.  
  
He didn't say anything back.  
  
"Why are you doing this?!" she yelled again through her tears not bothering to wipe them away but letting the run freelg down her face. "Why?" she asked again in a whisper barely heard but in the silent room in rang out perfectly.  
  
"I'll be back in a couple of months." he said trying to calm her down.  
  
"Not you willn't!"  
  
"I wouldn't fall for another girl, Mako i swear." he said resonably.  
  
"That's not what i'm worried about, or have you already and you're just using this as an excuse?" she asked him her eyes full of question.  
  
"Mako, what are you saying? Are you saying that you think that i'm cheating on you!" he asked hurtful.  
  
"No that's not what i said!"  
  
"Yes it and why are you being so hard about this?"  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Yes you are, and i'm leaving and i might not come back!" he yelled walking out of the door, shutting the door after him quickly. He leaned against the door tears running down his face.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
::4 years later::  
  
A thunder suddenly sounded and Mako joilted up, out of bed her face drippping in not sweat but tears. 'not again.' she thought as she untangled herself from her sheets.  
  
The room was litten by a sudden thunder providing light into the small apartment bedroom. "looks like i'll have to take the bus to work tommorrow." she said to no one in particular.  
  
"Doesn't look like i'll get anymore sleep." she stated softly as she picked up her comforter, she didn't bother to turn on the light, not that she needed to, the light of the storm, and thunder was enough.  
  
As she set the comforter, a soft blue colored conforter, with tiny white flowers handsewn in, it was probely an antique by now. It belonged to her mother who had it when she was about her age. Her mother had died when she was 1 so it ment alot to her.   
  
When she finished she walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen of her 2 bedroom house. She started some hot water fix some tea. Once it finished she walked out of the kitchen and into the living room and sat down on a chair.  
  
'why now?' she asked herself 'after all of these years why now?' the same dream kept repeating itself over and over lately and she didn't seem to get any sleep lately. She knew that she would never be over him but she was dealing with it. She hadn't stoped dating though, her uncle who helped support her when her father first died when she was 14 until she got her inheritence form her father when she was 18. He wanted her to date and to be happy, he knew about Heero, more than even her own father did because he didn't like Heero until the was on his death bed. She didn't know why or how but her uncle did. But dating didn't make her happy what made her happy was Heero, but she knew that she could never have him.   
  
'Why does it have to be so hard?' she asked herself as she glanced out of the window, staring at the tunderstorm outside.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
okay what did you guys think? pretty good for one language class huh?  
*angel!*  
  
THANK YOU JUPITER-HIME FOR EDITING MY JUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. care to explain yourself?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The confusion of love Chapter 2 by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness *~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Everythings finished for today," Heero said looking up in his gundam cocpit, "see you later."  
  
Heero jumped down from his gundam. "everyone's downstairs, having fun but i don't feel like it so i guess i'll turn in for the night.  
  
As Heero walked down the hall he couldn't ingore the sounds of everyone laughing.   
  
"Heero wanna play?" Dou called as he noticed Heero leaning against the doorframe.  
  
"Come on." Quatra added. "I know it's not really your thing, it isn't mine either but it seems to lighten the whole being in war thing huh?"  
  
Heero know he couldn't get out of it so he surrendered. "Sure i guess." he stated sitting on the floor next to Trowa.  
  
"Hilde truth or Dare?"  
  
Hilde thought about this for a while Dare.  
  
"You have to kiss Wufei."  
  
"NO!" both Hilde and Wufei yelled.  
  
Everyone laughed. The night went on like that until...  
  
"Heero truth or Dare." Dou asked.  
  
"Uh..." he began."Truth." He know all about Dou and his stupid dare. No, he was never ever gonna call Relena again.  
  
Dou frowned, "And i had such a good one too."  
  
"It's okay." Hilde teased.  
  
"Who was the first girl you ever truley liked?"  
  
Heero frozed. 'Mako,' he thought. "I-don't-wanna-play-anymore." He said fastly running out of the room.  
  
"Was it something i said?" Dou asked looking around.  
  
"I'll go see where he went." Quatra said softly looking at the door.  
  
Trowa seemed to nod agreeingly.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Heero," Quatra asked scared, he had never seen him like this before, 'what's wrong with him?' Heero was always the calm, cool, and collected one of the group, but now, Quatra had trouble beleiving this really was the same Heero. But whoever it was, was obveiously hurting right now.  
  
"Yeah Quatra." Heero said turning around, Quatra jumped a bit at Heero's face. Sure Quatra had seen Heero cry before but only once when that little girl and her dog had died. Ofcouse Heero threathened him never to tell anyone, but he just thought that Heero was one of those oldfashioned guys. But never had he seen such sorrow and saddness in someone expesiouly Heero's face.  
  
"What's wrong? What happened? You know i can tell me I'll try to help." But Quatra wasn't quite sure he could.  
  
"I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't." He said shakling his head. "Expesiouly in wartime, It's stupid."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"You know that little girl?" Heero said looking at Quatra's face change. "It's obveious you do."  
  
"Did you know her or something?" He asked althougth he didn't know why he had. Quatra was scared at whatever made Heero like this.  
  
"No only what she reminded me of, her eyes, yes they have the same eyes."  
  
"Who?" Quatra breathed, "Who's eyes?"  
  
"Mako."  
  
A silence followed. Quatra really didn't know as much as wanted to, heck all he knew was it involved someone named 'mako' but still, he didn't want to intrude it wasn't his style expessiouly since Heero was like this. Heero knew he had to continue it wasn't fair to Quatra.  
  
Heero walked away leaving a very confused Quatra. 


	3. peace... somewhat

Author's notes: different types of talking. /inner voice/ someone used this in a fic i read before and it was really neat. "diagolue" 'thought.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The confusion of love Chapter 3 by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness *~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I talked to doctor j earlier, and since both sides have agreed to a temporary peace treety, he agreed we could take the week off."   
  
"He did?!" Hilde yelled excitingly hugging the blonde gundam pilot.   
  
"Your... your squeezing me to hard." Quatra choked out. But Hilde wasn't listening. "Think of all the shopping I could do! I could go to the movies! They have that movie out!"  
  
Everyone laughed. "Hilde," Dou said teasingly tapping his girlfriend on the shoulder.  
  
"Oh, what was I doing?" Hilde asked embaressed letting poor Quatra go.  
  
"And you yell at me for my stupid habits."   
  
"I guess I have been spending to much time with you, I'm gonna enjoy this week off."  
  
"Your don't wanna spend the week with me?"  
  
"I never said that. You can come with me shopping if you want."  
  
"Ah let me think about that... ah... no."  
  
"What's wrong with shopping?" Hilde asked confused.  
  
'Sometimes you can be so stumorn.' Hilde thought silently.  
  
"How do you plan on spending the week off?" Quatra asked Trowa.  
  
"No sure." Trowa stated softly. 'But really does it matter? It's probebly just a cover for some secret operation, where the enemy plans on atacking some innocent people for a stupid victory.' he shook his head sadly.  
  
"What's wrong Trowa." Hilde asked.  
  
"Nothing." Trowa answered shaking his head.  
  
'sometimes you can be so strange trowa.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Quatra found himself wandering around town, not really knowing where he was going not really caring.   
  
/It's gonna be tough getting back home you know you really should think before you do anything./ his inner voice tounted him.  
  
'shut up.'   
  
/I'm only trying to help, ya know getting lost does no good./  
  
'I'm trying to help Heero feel better.' he tryed to reason with himself.  
  
/and how does getting yourself lost help Heero?/  
  
'I'm trying to think of ways to help him feel better about Mako and all.'  
  
/If you wanna help him maybe you should ask him ya know./  
  
'How can you ask Heero? It's obvious he doesn't wanna talk about it. If he does don't you think he would have aready?'  
  
/He did or tryed to remember?/  
  
'Yeah he did partway.' he stated agreeinngly.  
  
/But you didn't ask him enough questions. That's the problem with you, your just to nice for your own good./  
  
'there isn't a problem with being nice.' Quatra reminded his inner voice.   
  
/It is if you want someone to answer your questions you need to be more direct./  
  
'You mean like you? I should bother him and annoy him till he agrees with me?' now Quatra was getting mad, he usually didn't but someone telling him how to act was enough for this 23 year old.  
  
/No but be more direct, like i dunno ask him something like, 'what's wrong Heero? Can I help?'/  
  
'I don't want to dive into his life, unlike you.'  
  
/So asking yourself questions you can never answer by your self about someone you call a frind is diving into his life, you would rather live in confusion then ask a few simple questions?/  
  
'Simple questions?! Heero's tough and isn't gonna let something that can be answered fulling a couple of simple answers ruin his life, I know Heero, this has to be more than just a few simple questions.'  
  
/You know him hun? Does that explain why you didn't know about Mako?/  
  
'Why don't you just leave me alone?'  
  
/I can't I'm a part of you, you hear everything I think and I hear everything you think./  
  
'Well at least keep you wisecracks to yourself for a while okay?'  
  
/Fine./  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* sorry about the long wait. 


	4. talk between friends.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The confusion of love by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness Chapter 4 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The confusion of love by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness Chapter 4 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey Quatra, where were you? You missed supper." Trowa asked his friend as he entered the room.   
  
"I was just around on where in particular, just thinking." he answered simply taking a seat on a chair beside his friend.  
  
"Okay, do you wanna talk about it? Usually I don't like to intrude on people and there thougths but this seems to be bothering you."  
  
"Yeah it has and although it really isn't my problem. It's Heero's"  
  
"Does it have to do with anything that happened during our little truth or dare game a couple of days ago? You and Heero both have been acting wierd since then."  
  
"Yeah it does, and what's really bothering me is the fact that I don't know everything."  
  
"You don't have to know everything Quarta. God doesn't want us to." Trowa answered comfortingly.  
  
"I know but, it's that fact that Heero has been keeping something big from us, something that's obviously hurting him and he didn't try to tell us."  
  
"Sometimes people don't want other people to tell other people about their problems cause they're worried about making other people feel bad. But really other people are hear to help people out."  
  
"Some how I feel that it's more than just looking out for us, I think Heero's kept it to himself because he thought. Even if we did know about it, it really wouldn't help."  
  
"It's called denile. Heero's in denile about it, but he really should have told us. Not that I just want to know everything about everyone's lives. I don't but Heero, Heero really should have told us because well, people where put there to help other people out on their journey of life." Trowa stated seriously. "We must live to make the world a better place, not just to acquire things. That is what we are but on life for. It's a quote from Dolores Huerta."   
  
"That's deep." Quarta breathed.  
  
"It's just my idea on life. Alot of people have them, you do to probebly. You just haven't got it all into place yet."  
  
"I guess," Quatra said sighing at the deepness of his friend, "but about Mako."  
  
"Mako? Who the heck is Mako? I thought we where talking about Heero. How did we get onto Mako." Trowa asked confused.  
  
"Mako some girl that has to deal with it all. Heero told me a little about her and her eyes."  
  
"Her eyes?" Asked the still more confused Trowa.  
  
"Yeah Heero said that her eyes said so much about her and her emotions."  
  
"Your eyes do to Quatra, like right now and when you walked into this room. Everyone's do, it just takes time to learn to listen to people's eyes."  
  
"Sure like Heero's eyes, they looked so sad and depressing when he told me about Mako."  
  
"Mako has something big to deal with this I agree. But did you get anything else out of him?"  
  
"Nope." Quatra answered shaking his head.  
  
Trowa sighed," It's obvious you need to ask him more questions. But you need to be gentle with the questions you do ask." he stated as he got up.  
  
"Thank you Trowa." Quatra said suddenly  
  
"Huh?" Trowa asked confused as he turned around.  
  
"Thank you for helping me. You really are a great friend and a good person to talk to."  
  
"You can be to Quatra."  
  
"No I can't." he answered laughing at himself  
  
"I bet Heero would agree with me." Trowa added smiling. "And you have a good quality trat being able to laugh at yourself. It shows the fact you really are a good person. I'm heading off to bed good night Quatra."  
  
"Good night Trowa."  
  
"Aren't you gonna go to bed to? It's 2 a.m.?"  
  
"Heero isn't sleeping right now."  
  
"Just because Heero isn't doesn't mean that you shouldn't sleep either. Running yourself ragged does nothing to help Heero."  
  
"I guess. Okay I'm turn into."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
/You should be more like him ya know?/ Quatra's inner voice said as soon as Quatra had laid down.  
  
'Shut up. Didn't I tell you to keep you opinions to yourself?'  
  
/And didn't I tell you I couldn't?/ it mocked. /you should get some sleep to./  
  
'Why do you think I'm in bed?'  
  
/Here's another question for you how come you listen to Trowa and not me?/  
  
'Becasue you don't seem to be nice about how you talk.'  
  
/And you thank him for his help and you don't thank me?/  
  
'Good night.' Quatra thought silently as he closed his eyes.  
  
/I'm not finished with you yet!/ 


	5. chance meeting.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The confusion of love by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness Chapter 5 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Dou, come on! We're gonna be late! Our reservations are for 8a.m. and it's almost 7:45 now!" Hilde yelled empasionly as she stapped her foot.   
  
"So how do I look?" Dou asked teasingly as he walked down the flight of stairs.  
  
"Fine now lets go." Hilde said angryly. 'I swear you spend more time on your hair than any girl I know.'  
  
"We'll be back by midnight you guys," Dou yelled as Hilde pulled him through the doors. "Hilde that hurts." he added as Hilde started to pull him even harder.  
  
"They seem to be fighting more than they usually do." Quatra said sighing.  
  
"I know, they've always acted like that so what feels wrong." his friend added as he got up.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked confused.  
  
"Come on we're gonna be late." he said reappearing.  
  
"Where are we going?" the blonde asked confused.   
  
"It's a suprize. Just get your coat." Trowa said smiling.  
  
"Okay."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Are you ready to go?" A 18 year old asked popping his head into the doorway.  
  
"Just about." a girl stated as she turned around smiling.   
  
"Great, your on in 5 minutes." he said. "I hope you do good."  
  
'Was he flirting with me?' the girl asked herself once he left. 'he probelby was, not that I haven't gotten used to it. Ever since I started singing, it seems like that every guy i've seen does, oh well, I might as well get on out there.'  
  
*~*~*~*~* "Trowa are you ever gonna say where we're going?" Quatra asked after a long period of walking.  
  
"I guess I could tell you know.We're going to a consert."  
  
"Where going to a consert?" Quatra asked as the stepped into a line.  
  
"Yep. Don't worry it's suppose to be good. The singer is suppose to have a voice like an angel."  
  
"You know they make those things up Trowa." his friend added shaking his head at his friends stupidity.  
  
"Yeah the probebly do, but hey, the tickets where free."  
  
"Free?"  
  
"Yep, they where Hilde's but hey she's going to that restraunt right, so she couldn't use them huh?"  
  
"Trowa!" Quatra said laughing.  
  
"Yeah I know. but hey, was I just gonna leave these tickets to waste?"  
  
"Trowa you suprize me sometimes." *~*~*~*~*  
  
'It looks like a giant crowd out tonight. But then again isn't it always?' "Hello everyone! How are you all doing?" she yelled into the microphone.  
  
"Yeah! You're the greatest!" Were the respondces.  
  
"Okay, tonight I would like to sing a very special song It's intitled There You'll Be are you all ready?"  
  
When I think back on the times, And the dreams we left behind. I'll be glad cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life. When I look back on those days I'll look and see your face. You where right there for me, In my dreams I'll always see you sour above the sky. I'n my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life. I'll keep a part of you with me. And everywhere I am there you'll be. You've showed me how it feels to feel the sky withen my reach And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me You were right there for me In my dreams I'll always see you sour above the sky, In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life. I'll keep a part of you with me. And everywhere I am there you'll be.  
  
"That song is soo beautiful." a girl stated sighing as she suddenly bumped into Trowa. "Don't you think?"  
  
"Yeah it is." Trowa agreed after a while. "Now if only I could find my friend." he said looking around.  
  
"This crowd is big." the girl agreed.  
  
"What does your friend look like? Maybe I can help." she offered.  
  
"He's about 5'2", has blonde hair, blue eyes. He's wearing a..."  
  
"Is that him over there?" she offered pointing to the left.  
  
"Yes it is. Thank you very much."   
  
"Hey no problem. I actually owed you one since I bumped into you and all." the girl argued.  
  
"No you don't. The crowd pushed you into me that's all."  
  
"Hey, Trowa who's your friend?" Quatra asked pushing himself through the crowd. "I swear give these people one second and they'll push you anywhere."  
  
"Stop blaming the crowd, Quatra."  
  
"Hey it really was!"  
  
"My name is Makoto Kino. How are you?"  
  
"Makoto?" Quatra and Trowa gasped at the same time.  
  
"Do I know you or something?" Makoto asked confused. "You don't look familliar. But them again I'm not very good at names and faces."  
  
"No, we don't know you, we just hear of you."  
  
"Hear of me? What did you hear about me?" "To tell you the truth not very much."  
  
"Oh what did you hear about me."  
  
"Nothing beside the fact you had eyes that reflect your emotions." Quatra said softly. "Of course that's all that Heero said."  
  
"Is he hear?" Makoto asked quietly looking around.  
  
"no, sorry he isn't. But maybe you can expain what really happened." Quatra asked polietly. /that's it see you can do it./  
  
"Maybe later." was all she said before she left.  
  
"That sure went well." Trowa said sighing.  
  
"Yep." was the only reply.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	6. could this be the end?

The Confusion of love  
  
By *Angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"Why wouldn't Makoto want to talk to us about Heero?" Quatra asked his friend as after a long silence.  
  
"I don't know, Quatra. It's almost like they both share this unknown secret or something." he replied as they turned at a crosswalk.  
  
"What's wrong with them!" Quatra yelled.  
  
"Quatra your temper."  
  
"Sorry it's just that, it confuses me so much that they both don't want to talk about it. I mean if Heero if this so involved and where he is now, then why would they not want to see each other?"  
  
"We never actually found out they didn't want to see each other, but yeah with Mako, it looked like that, I mean she asked if Heero was around and that look in her eye when I told her he wasn't almost, almost, like she was happy he wasn't. But then she seemed like she did want Heero to be there, it's wierd."  
  
"Yeah, it is." Quatra sighed. "But maybe Heero will tell us now that we actually met Mako."  
  
"Quatra!" Trowa snapped grabing his friends sholder. "We can't tell him, maybe Mako it was for the better that they aren't speaking."  
  
"How can it be good that they broke up!"  
  
"Quatra, you can be so native sometimes, maybe this has to do with an old friendship, or relationship or something. Maybe it was good that they went seperate ways. Maybe Heero had to learn to depend on himself, maybe, well maybe something happened and we shouldn't say anything till we know exactually what happened."  
  
"I guess, but how are we suppose to know something if we don't say or ask anything?"  
  
"We'll just ask Makoto, we know her full or most of her name now so we can look her up in the phone book and all, after all she lives around here, we can be pretty sure of that since she went to the  
  
concert and all."  
  
They both just walked in silence after that, neither of them having anything to say.  
  
"I sincerly hope that we find Makoto." Quatra added.  
  
"Sure, and that when we do find her that she's willing to talk."  
  
"Yep that to. And that this can all get worked out eazily."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I can not believe that you left the tickets at home!" Hilde yelled as she and Dou rode back from the dinner in Dou's car.  
  
"Oh, come one Hilde, so I made a little mistake, so what?" Dou asked as they stopped at a stoplight.  
  
"One little mistake!? You take forever in to get ready, you're always late, you always forget stuff, and you always act like, like it's no big deal when you do forget something!"  
  
"But, Hilde so I forget some stuff. .. a lot of stuff."he added after he thought about it. "So what? It's not the end of the world."  
  
"No, but it's the beginging." Hilde muttered.  
  
"In what way?"  
  
"I don't understand how can it be the end of the world?"  
  
"We are so different Dou. I have to live on a schuedle, and you can't. Sometimes the littlest things that you do bug me."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like you not catching on little clues! Stop the car right now!"  
  
"But Hilde." Dou agrued but he did slow down at the curb.  
  
"Hilde where are you going?"  
  
"Home." she answered angrily as she stepped out of the car.  
  
'Now how did that go wrong?' Dou asked himself as he watched his girlfriend or exgirlfriend, he wasn't sure walk off until she turned a corner and got out of his sight.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mako plopped down on her sofa once she walked into her apartment. 'Oh great,' she though to herself. 'I knew moving her was a bad idea. I was moving back to here was a bad idea, now that I met Heero's friends and all. But I knew I would have to face this again, no running back.' she coached herself. 'you can do it.... no I can't.'  
  
'Great. How did this all go wrong? I was suppose to have a new life, a clean slate, not having to meet up with Heero again. I better get to bed if I want to make it in time for work tommorrow.' the girl sighed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dou dragged himself into the house and plopped down on the sofa, 'why did Hilde act like that, like. It was almost like she didn't love me anymore. What happened what did I do wrong?'  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So when do you want to do, you know what.?" Quatra asked as they entered the house.  
  
"I'm not sure, maybe do you want to do it tommorrow, there is no since in putting it off." his friend answered as they  
  
"What are you guys planning on doing?" Dou asked looking up.  
  
"Dou, hi." Quatrta said suddenly noticing Dou's sad excression.  
  
"We were planning to go someone important. We can't say much but we'll tell you later." Trowa said adding.  
  
"Okay sure." Dou said in a voice that stated he didn't care either way.  
  
"Dou it's about Heero and his past." Quatra whispered. "We're worried about him, he's been acting wierd, until I talked to him acouple of days ago."  
  
"Oh so your worried about him and not me. Like I don't care." Dou said rudefully.  
  
"Dou, come back." Quatra called once Dou got up and left.  
  
Trowa put his hand on Quatra's shoulder.  
  
"How come everything suddenly got so bad?"  
  
"How do you know it just always was around and we are now just learning about?" Trowa questioned  
  
Quatra sighed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
sorry about taking so long to update, sorry again about how the 6th chapter wasn't finished when it was published i really am. 


	7. he is not gay!

The Confusion of love  
  
By *Angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Relena looked around her throne room, 'bored, bored, bored, bored!' "I hate paperwork!" she suddenly yelled. Her cheeks flushed when all of the servants in the room looked at her funny. "What are you looking at?!"  
  
"Nothing, your highness." one of the spoke up stepping forward. "We meant no harm."  
  
"Sorry, it's my fault. I'm just tired and need a break." Relena said sighing. "But when am I gonna get one, I haven't been to the beach in over a month and...and my skin is pale." 'hardly a way for the princess of Earth to look.' she added pouting.  
  
"Then why don't you take one?" she asked smiling. "It can do you good." she stated as she sat down in a chair infront of the desk.  
  
"I guess, but who am I gonna get to fill in for me while I'm gone?" Relena added looking out he window. 'the warm beach, the cool water, and Heero. My perfect day off.' she smiled blissfully. 'It's been a while since I have seen him, maybe Lina's right.'  
  
"We'll be fine." her servent insisted. 'poor girl dreaming about some guy.' "We can manage. You have a cell phone right?" she added smiling.  
  
"Ya, sure. What's that got to do with anything?" Relena asked as she flittled with one of her paperclips.  
  
"If anything comes up that we can't handle, which will probably never happen since the temporary armistas. And what would you do if anything came up here?"  
  
"I'd call them up." The princess said smiling.  
  
"Exactly. So you have no excuse to stay here. What would you do even if you stay here?" The girl got up to leave  
  
"I guess, but Lina."  
  
"Yes, Relena?" the girl answered, as she tucked some of her lose hair behind her ear.  
  
"I want you to come with me."  
  
"But Relena!" the girl objected. "What about your house? Who's gonna watch after that?"  
  
"It'll be fine Lina, you said so yourself."  
  
"I was talking about with me to look after things."  
  
"Come on Lina, your more than just a servent, your my best friend. I talk you about Heero don't I?" Relena said as she smiled a smile like a little kid has once he found out her outsmarted his parents.  
  
"Yes you do." Lina added realizing it was a losing battle.  
  
"So pack your bags we're leaving tomorrow."  
  
"Tomorrow isn't that a little soon. I mean, I haven't even made plans yet."  
  
"Do you make plans for yourself when you want to do things?"  
  
"No but I'm just a servent Relena. You're a princess. You have more things to worry about."  
  
"And enough money to pay people to worry for me. Now go." Relena said smiling. 'Heero ready or not here I come.'  
  
  
  
"You're late for work!" A 20-year-old girl yelled at Makoto as she ran in the door.  
  
"Sorry, Kinal. I really am. Sorry got home from the concert late and slept in." Makoto answered apologizing.  
  
"That's okay Makoto." her boss chimed in. "It's only once and you are always a hard worker."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Shutlie." Makoto said bowing as her mid30's boss left. "that was sure close." she muttered to Kinal.  
  
"Yeah it was." she answered "I had to serve everyone here all by myself. So you own me one."  
  
"Sure, ok course. I'll do some while you rest okay?"  
  
"That you Mako-chan." Kinal answered smiling. "I'm gonna enjoy this break. So why were you late? You're always early and help Mr. Shutlie open up. We were worried about you. Did something happen at the concert? Were you robbed? Did some guy 'touch' you?"  
  
"Kinal!" The girl snapped embarrassed. 'You fear for the worse always don't you?' "Nothing like that happened Kinal I swear."  
  
"Than what did happen? You got asked backstage after the show? You know I'm still mad at you for not inviting me."  
  
"No, Kinal I didn't get asked backstage. But I met someone at the show..."  
  
"Some guy touched you right? I knew it."  
  
"Kinal! I already answered that question. No, he didn't. He was quite friendly though. He acted like he knew me or something." she shook her head. "His name was Trowa and he was there with his friend, Quatra."  
  
"Was he cute?" Kinal interrupted again.  
  
"Kinal I didn't check him out okay."  
  
"Mako! You looked at him right. You guys had a conversation. Was he cute?" she persisted. "I worry about you. Not checking out guys."  
  
"He wasn't that bad looking. He had brown hair that half covered his face." 'Wasn't a Heero though...Wait a second! He's Heero's friend right? Don't compare him to Heero!' she instructed herself.  
  
"To bad he was gay though right."  
  
"I never said he was gay!" Mako snapped.  
  
"He was with his 'friend' right? Quatra doesn't seem like a girl's name though. I could be wrong right?"  
  
"Yes, Quatra was a guy. But they were just friends okay?"  
  
"Fine, continue." Kinal said. "But you can't say I wasn't right."  
  
"Whatever. Anyway. He obviously knew Heero, because there would be no way Heero would ever openly say anything to anyone that he just met." Mako said softly.  
  
"I take it this Heero guy is pretty shy." Kinal said sighing. 'they're my favorite type of guy.'  
  
"Not really, he just... doesn't... he's had a bad past." Mako finally concluded. 'No that's not right, how exactly can I explain this to Kinal?' Mako sighed. She knew that it was a losing battle. She would have to tell her sometime or another, Kinal just wasn't the type of girl who you could keep secrets from.  
  
"Sure." Kinal said in a tone that said she didn't really believe Mako.  
  
"Kinal! It's kinda hard to explain okay?"  
  
"Oh, one of those types of guys, mysterious past or something. Like stealing or something."  
  
"Kinal! Heero never stole anything." /complete lie there sweety./ her conscious reminded her.  
  
"Okay. Then just tell me!" Kinal yelled impatiently.  
  
"Kinal! This isn't the time for chitchat okay!?" Mr. Shultie yelled out of his office.  
  
"Busted." Kinal muttered.  
  
"I heard that." He boss yelled back laughing. 


	8. i don't want to be a princess!

The Confusion of love  
  
By *Angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 8  
  
  
  
"I'm cold." the princess exclaimed sighing as she rubbed her hands together to keep warm.  
  
"I told you we should have ridden in the limo." Lina said sighing as it started to snow. "It's 70degrees out here. We're not quite at the beach yet Relena. "You can be so stubborn sometimes Relena.'  
  
"I already told you. I don't want to ride in the limo because it makes me feel different."  
  
"You are different Relena. You're a princess you're expected to be different than everyone else."  
  
"I don't want to be different!" The girl yelled empasionetly. "I want to fit in! I want to be normal! I want to wake up one day and not have to worry about this war!"  
  
"Relena." Lina said softly putting her arm around Relena's shoulder.  
  
"No one ever said that being a princess would be easy." Relena stated crying.  
  
"I know, but it's your duty." Lina stated trying to get her to snap out of it. 'Relena what's really wrong?'  
  
"Sometimes I just want to give it all up!" Relena yelled crying even harder. "This is why Heero doesn't like me hun? Because I'm a princess!"  
  
"Relena, no one ever said he didn't want you."  
  
"He doesn't okay! The way he looks at me when I was around. His eyes said 'what are you doing here? Don't you know you're not wanted? "Relena sobbed.  
  
"I'll call the limo and we can go home." Lina stated as she reached for her cell phone.  
  
"No!" Relena yelled. "I don't want to go home! I want to stay here!"  
  
"Why Relena? What's the use?"  
  
"I just want to stay her dammit!" Relena snapped rudefully.  
  
"Relena! Princesses don't cuss." Lina said 'this is really eating her up.'  
  
"I don't care anymore about what a princess has to do okay! I just want to be normal don't you hear me!"  
  
"Relena, I hear you. But how is just standing here crying gonna fix anything. Come on we can go home, and the cooks can make you some soup to warm you up."  
  
"How is soup gonna make this better!"  
  
"It used to Relena, whenever you got mad at something you ate."  
  
"Used to is the key word here, Lina. I would just eat and become fat and be shallow about everything. Maybe that's why Heero hates me. Because I'm a shallow little brat."  
  
"You are not a shallow little brat."  
  
"I am to! You're just saying that because I'm a princess and all. You guys all probably laugh at me when I leave the room."  
  
"Relena we do not laugh at you."  
  
"Nice try Lina but I think I know when I'm shallow."  
  
"Shallow people don't know they are shallow."  
  
"Are you calling me shallow!?"  
  
"You called yourself shallow remember?"  
  
"Are you saying now that I'm stupid too!"  
  
"No Relena!" Lina yelled as Relena started walking away.  
  
"Don't follow me." she muttered in a deadly voice. "It's obvious we were never friends to begin with. So don't follow me just because you don't want me to be hurt. You wanted this trip to happen because you knew I would invite you to go along too. You wanted a vacation so bad you were willing to convince me to go one on!"  
  
"Relena! We are to friends! And I don't want to see you hurt because you are my friend. And I didn't want to come here in the first place. I wanted to stay home. I hate traveling you know that!"  
  
"Shut up Lina. Go back to the house. It's obvious you want to."  
  
Lina started crying as Relena started walking off. She wanted to run to her and comfort me but couldn't because Relena didn't want her to. 'We used to be so close Relena. What happened?... I know what happened, Heero happened right Relena. It's his fault right? Don't worry Relena, I'll make his pay for ever making you cry.' she smiled evilly. 'No one ever makes me fight with my friends and gets away with it.'  
  
  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Dou come on!" Quatra yelled following Dou as he left out of the house. "You have been advioding me and Trowa since last night! What's wrong?"  
  
"I think you of all people should know!"  
  
"Listen about what I said last night."  
  
"I don't want to hear it Quatra! What happened last night clearly says for itself." and with that the God of Death walked out of the room.  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
Quatra sighed as he fell onto his bed. 'This is great!' he stated sarcastically. 'We are now one big gigantic family!' "This is soo bad!"  
  
  
  
"What would you like Mr. Jones?" she asked to kindly old gentleman as he sat down in a booth.  
  
"I'd like the special. Thank you very much, Mako. A bowl of Vegetable and Beef soup with as small salad. And a glass of tea."  
  
"What kind of dressing would you like on your salad?" she asked smiling. "We have Ranch, Thousand Islands, Italian, and all of the flavors I mentioned come in Fat Free versions."  
  
"I'd like Thousand Islands."  
  
"Sure. It'll be out in about 15 minutes." she added as she picked up the menu from the table and went to serve the next customer. "Here's your soup." she stated happily as she sat the order infront of the man. "Thank you Mako. And if it isn't any trouble, Can I ask you a question?"  
  
'A question?' Mako asked herself. 'How harmless could that be?' "Sure."  
  
"Can you take your hair down?" Mr. Jones asked smiling.  
  
'Take my hair down? Is this guy nuts?' but she did it anyway.  
  
"You look beautiful with it down." he commented. "Why don't you wear it down all of the time?"  
  
"Health regulations, Mr. Jones."  
  
"That's crazy. In my day people did a lot worse than wear their hair down..." Mako sighed, but kept a smile on her face. "Well I gotta go, Mako. Have a good day. See you tomorrow right?"  
  
"Right." As Mako reached to pick the tray up she noticed a note on it, all it said on the cover was Mako. 'No harm in reading it right?' she questioned herself as she noticed exactly who's righting it was. She unfolded it and read 'Listen we need to talk all right? Met me after work outside the door. Love, Kinal.'  
  
"Great." Mako muttered shaking her head. Sometimes she just didn't understand Kinal. She knew that she met well and all, but still. Sometimes she was just to blonde for her own good. Looks like I gotta tell someone about it. She sighed.  
  
  
  
Hilde stared outside her window. 'I'm sorry Dou.' she muttered softly as if her silent apology would somehow reach him. 'I really am.' Sometimes Hilde didn't really know who she was in life. All she really knew was that her and Dou were an item. But was that enough? Was having a relationship with someone she loved enough for her? Sure she loved Dou, there was no question there. But her real question was weither or not Dou and her would work out. Even though they fought a lot she still cared. A lot. She just, just couldn't understand Dou sometimes, and when he forgot things his smile was so cute. And the way he kissed her was so enjoyable. She smiled blissfully. Wait! Was him looking cute and kissing well, enough for a relationship to last? Was that a good long-term investment? Was Dou ready for kids? Did Dou want kids? She sure did. She always wanted a big family. But her and Dou fought too much. Every once and a while was okay but all the time? She shook her head. Ever since this war started everything just got worse. Maybe she and Dou weren't meant to last. 


	9. breakup

The Confusion of Love  
  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 9  
  
"Ya sure that you know what you're doing?" Quarta asked as he nervously looked over Trowa's shoulder.  
  
"Not really, but we can wing it right?" Trowa stated laughing. "Now back up a little I can't breath."  
  
"Yeah sure." he chimed in backing up. "Sorry."  
  
"I'm too, I've just never done this before. Dou and Heero are the hackers in the bunch of us remember."  
  
"Yeah, but we can't let Heero in on this and Dou is mad at us so this is hopeless." Quatra stated falling into a chair.  
  
"To bad she wasn't in the phonebook huh?"  
  
"Yeah. It's almost like Heero's cursed or something."  
  
"No one is cursed okay, Quatra." Trowa added clicking another button. "No not that button!" He yelled as the computer shut down. "Gotta restart it now."  
  
"What were you saying about no one being cursed?" Quatra teased. "I seem to have forgotten."  
  
"Shut up Quatra." Trowa said playfully pushing Quatra to the floor.  
  
"Hey!" he yelled getting up.  
  
"What?" Trowa answered innocently.  
  
Quatra sighed.  
  
  
  
*Flashback*  
  
The God of Death dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen. "Great." he muttered to himself as he looked at the clock. "It's 3p.m. No way would I hear the end of it, if anyone found out. Excesiouly Quatra." he stated to himself. "Might as well get something to eat." he said to himself as he reached for the peanut butter, even though he could cook, something that he never admitted to anyone before. As he grabbed to knife and caught his reflection in the glare of the knife. 'I look horrible. Hilde would have a fit if she ever found out I was looking like this... What am I doing thinking about Hilde we broke up remember?' The lonely pilot sighed depressed.  
  
"What's up Dou?" Wufei stated patting Dou on his back. 'You don't look so good.' he thought as he saw Dou's face.  
  
"Nothing and I mean nothing." Dou said as he slumped down in a chair.  
  
"Come on, something has to be up...Like you and Hilde. I swear you guys..." He suddenly and abruptly stopped once he saw Dou's face worsen even more. 'Damn. Obviously not the right thing to say.' "What happened?"  
  
"So what if I forgot the tickets? No big deal. Or at least I didn't think it was a big deal. Until Hilde started yelling."  
  
"Tickets!" the Chinese boy yelled in disbelief. "You looking like crap has to do with you forgetting tickets?! You forget a lot of stuff and I still care about you."  
  
"Thanks for reminding me. But, that's not all. I used to believe that even though we were not exactly the same we were close enough to make it work right? But I was obviously wrong."  
  
"You guys have been together for over 2 years... almost 2 years." Wufei did some quick math as Dou nodded. "So if you guys really had big differences don't you think you guys would have noticed it a little sooner?"  
  
"People do get divorces remember?" Dou questioned trying to prove his point.  
  
"I don't believe in divorces." Wufei stated. "I think people need to work out their problems. So what if people get into hard times? I guess when you live and work in such close areas it's easy to snap at people that you're close to. It's also easy to say things that you don't mean. People see divorces as an easy was out. But people are weak when they do that. They're not strong enough to see there are other options."  
  
"Don't lecture me. If I wanted a lecture I would have gone to Trowa okay?" Dou snapped. Wufei remanded quiet and acted like he was about to leave but didn't. "I'm sorry." Dou added after a while. "I guess I'm not ready to realize you're right."  
  
"It's okay. I have snapped at people a lot of times. You're going through a rough time. And I hate to be lectured as much as you do. But I'm only trying to help."  
  
"But what you said about it being easy to snap at people and not meaning it. I snapped at Quatra earlier. When I came home after mine and Hilde's fight. Sure some of our fights have been big. But this one by far takes to cake. She made me stop the car so she could jump out! That's bigger than just alittle fight."  
  
'Poor guy.' Wufei thought sadly. He hated seeing his friend like that. "You need to talk to Quatra and Hilde. You guys need to work out whatever problems you two are having. It's not healthy for you to act like this. Dragging yourself out of bed at 3p.m."  
  
"How did you know I?"  
  
"Let's just say that I didn't see you wake up when everyone else did. So I waited for you to wake up. Finally I took a quick walk at 2:30 or so. When I left you weren't wake but when I cam back you were."  
  
"Did anyone else notice that I didn't wake up till 3?" Dou questioned.  
  
"Nope. Heero, well Heero is Heero. We woke up early and went somewhere like normal. Trowa and Quarta went off to do something, not sure what didn't ask."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Dou get yourself washed up. And remember what we talked about." Dou nodded "Good Now go and call Hilde."  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
'Maybe Wufei was right.' he told himself as he reached over for the phone. He quickly dialed.  
  
"Hello." Hilde answered as she picked the phone up.  
  
"Hi this is Dou."  
  
"You know I have caller id remember." Hilde answered sighing. 'Do you remember anything Dou?'  
  
"Oh...Yeah...Sorry." He added cursing at himself. He should have remembered that because him and Hilde have this discussion when Hilde decided to get Caller Id because she was afraid who would call.  
  
"Listen, why exactly did you call? I have to get to work." Hilde asked impatiently.  
  
Dou stole a look at the clock. 'Crap.' He should have remembered to check to clock first. "Yeah listen, about last night."  
  
"Last night pretty much speaks for itself. I don't want to get into another fight." and she didn't. The only reason she made Dou stop the car was to get away from the fight.  
  
Dou twirled his fingers in the cord nervously. "I called because I think..."  
  
But Hilde had already thought about what she needed. "I gotta go now. But there is something that I need to talk to you about. I think that we need a break."  
  
"A break?" Dou asked confused. "Like a vacation or something?"  
  
"No, Dou I think that we need a break from each other."  
  
"Why?" Dou yelled nervously. Suddenly he was mad.  
  
'Stop it Dou. Don't make this hard.' she instructed silently. "I just need a break okay?" she tried harder.  
  
"Hilde, I know that I'm not the most responsible person in the world. I also know that I'm not as serious as you want me to be. But for you I'm willing to change." he begged with her  
  
"No, Dou. Don't change. That's why I loved you." The line suddenly went dead. 


	10. notes

i was wondering if any of you were confused about this story, you need some more back up imformaion etc. would any of you guys be interested if a wrote a story about what happened up to this moment?  
  
*angel!* 


	11. notes

i was wondering if any of you were confused about this story, you need some more back up imformaion etc. would any of you guys be interested if a wrote a story about what happened up to this moment?  
  
*angel!* 


	12. don't preach to me.

Authors notes: is Merren Wufei's old fiancée? I remember reading that somewhere in a story and I'm unsure it's actually true. If I stole it from anyone, Sorry!  
  
Ages:  
  
Kinal...................................18  
  
Lina....................................19  
  
Relena.................................19  
  
Mako..................................20  
  
Hilde...................................21  
  
Heero.................................22  
  
Quatra.................................23  
  
Wufei..................................24  
  
Trowa.................................25  
  
Mr. Shultie..........................35  
  
Mr. Jones............................86  
  
If they look a little wierd remember one thing, It's my story!  
  
The Confusion of Love  
  
By *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 10  
  
"So how did it like go?" Wufei asked as he slowly opened Dou's door. He found Dou lying on the bed, having not moved since Hilde hanged up on her. "Oh, sorry. Didn't know you were still on the phone."  
  
"I hate you. Did you know that?" Dou stated angrily as he threw the phone at him.  
  
"What? Didn't I tell you to call Hilde? So what went wrong?" Wufei asked confused as he took a seat on the bed after he placed the phone back on the stand.  
  
"She... wanted...she wanted to break up." Dou said a tear falling down his face.  
  
"What?! How did that happen?!"  
  
"She didn't exactly say she wanted to break up. She said that she wanted to take a break... but isn't that the same thing? How many people do you know that actually get out of the bad part of the relationship?" Dou asked hopelessly  
  
"So you guys can be the first ones who do." Wufei offered. 'Gosh that was corny.'  
  
"Don't preach to me."  
  
"I'm not trying to. I'm just new at this. I've never really comforted anyone before. " Wufei admitted. "When Merren died I cried. I felt so hopeless; I blamed myself I thought it was my fault. Merren died from a weak heart. I thought it was my entire fault, and I finally decided after a lot of grieving that she was weak... and crying was weak and women were weak in general. All because Merren died. And it's a just a cover... and i wake up every morning thinking about her and what happened and when women remind me of her I suddenly say that they are weak because I'm afraid to say the truth. Do you what to end up like that?"  
  
Dou breathed deeply. "No, I don't. But what can I do? Hilde wants her space and I have to respect that. She's going through something and she needs time to think about it."  
  
"No, she doesn't. I disagree. She probely has something that she needs to talk to you about, but is afraid to because of something."  
  
"Are you saying she's scared of me!?" Dou yelled angrily. "How could Hilde be scared of me?!"  
  
"Okay, I'm scared of people sometimes. Mainly women, I 'm afraid that if I ever get close to one again then she'll die or something will happen to her and I'll never see her again, I want to get on with my life. But it's like something's blocking me out of this nightmare. Sometimes I do think it's a nightmare, and some day I'll wake up from it. Until I do, I've decided to get on with my life, and I think you should to."  
  
"But you said..."  
  
"I said you need to get on with your life until Hilde works out whatever she needs to work out. You can't just lie around waiting for her to come back, you need to help recover to. If she sees you strong she'll be strong. If only Merren was around now and she could work out whatever she needs to work out."  
  
"Merren is dead. What does she need to work out?"  
  
"Merren and I had a fight before she died. We both said some things we didn't mean to say. We both had tempers. Merren died a couple of days later, before I could realize what she really meant to me."  
  
"I had no idea." Dou breathed "and to think, I would have been a lot nicer to you if I knew."  
  
"Everyone has a sob story, Dou." and with that Wufei exited to room  
  
'I guess he is right.' Dou thought as he fell back unto his bed. 'I do need to be strong.' and with that he got up and took a shower.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile with Quatra and Trowa. "I can not believe you have such weak computer skills!" Quatra shouted in anger. "How long have we been here?!"  
  
"Quatra..." was all Trowa said.  
  
"I guess you're right." he stated after awhile. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"No it's not." Quatra added sighing, "I just took all of my anger out on you. About Heero and Mako about Dou totally yelling at me. How all of a sudden our lives have changed all because of this war. And a million things more. How could everything go so wrong so fast?"  
  
"I'm not sure Quatra. " came a reply from behind them.  
  
"Hi Wufei." Quatra greeted friendly. "What brings you here?"  
  
"I live here remember?" he watched Quatra relax. "Anyway, just thought I would see what you guys are up to, ya know."  
  
"Oh sure. It's kinda confusing so here goes." Trowa stated as he turned around ignoring the computer.  
  
"Oh you turn around for him but not me?" Quatra teased. "How come? Is he special or something?"  
  
"Nope, just I don't trust you telling him." he laughed  
  
"Are you saying that I am incapable of telling someone something without getting them confused? As well as not being able to find someone that's not listed in the phone book?"  
  
"Calm down." Trowa stated continuing to laugh. "What? It's funny." he replied once Quatra gave him a dirty look.  
  
"If you're looking for someone maybe you should ask Heero."  
  
"We are NOT asking Heero for help no matter how hopeless this gets."  
  
"Are you being stubborn?" Wufei asked. "Because if you are I can just ask him to do it right now."  
  
"You better not or I'll kill you!"  
  
"Why are you guys so desperate to find someone?" Wufei asked after a while. "I mean it looks like you two have been down here for some time now." he watched their heads nod. "Why is this person so important to both of you?"  
  
"Well, to tell you the truth, she isn't just some person, she's from Heero's past or something. We don't know much, all we know is that she dramatically changed Heero's life and we want to find out what really happened so we help Heero feel better."  
  
"Okay, well if it's that important..." Wufei started as he pushed Trowa out of the way. "Let me have a try." He suddenly started pushing buttons and the screen went dead.  
  
"What did you do?!" Quatra yelled. "We worked on that for four hours!"  
  
"Don't you know when to give up?" Wufei asked sighing.  
  
"And do what?! Let Heero go on with his life were he pretends like nothings wrong?! I'm sorry I can't do that. "  
  
"I never said that you had to forget about it. Maybe you guys need to get away for a little bit and think about stuff. Maybe you're overlooking some little thing that could turn this thing around.  
  
"I guess you are right in some weird way."  
  
"Are you saying that I'm weird?" Wufei answered raising his eyebrow.  
  
"Nope."  
  
  
  
She slowly dragged herself out of bed. Last night was murder. 'How come Dou doesn't understand?' she asked herself as she stepped into the shower. For some reason the shower comforted her the water running down her body, as if it clung to her softly trying to comfort her.  
  
She knew that it wasn't gonna be easy but she had to get on with her life. 'Dou and I are not meant to be.' she reminded herself. 'We have nothing in common and Dou and I are not in no way a good long term investment, we fight to much. You know the only reason that I got out of the car was to prevent myself from saying anything I didn't mean. 'she stated again as I Dou could really hear her.  
  
Hidle sighed in frustration.  
  
  
  
Kinal looked around impatiently Mako was suppose to be here by now. She suddenly caught a view of her friend. "Mako!" she yelled annoyed "Where have you been? I've been waiting ya know?"  
  
"Sorry, Kinal. I just had to help Mr. Shultie clean up." The true matter was that she was stalling hoping that by some long shot Kinal would forget and just go home. Looks like she wasn't right.  
  
"Well you're here now and that's all the matters. So as you were saying earlier, you were explaining this Heero guy to me right?" she watched Mako nod. "So aren't you gonna continue?"  
  
"Kinal, it's not something that I want to relive okay? I was the worst time in my life and I don't want to."  
  
"Fine." Kinal sighed obvious annoyed at the fact that her friend wasn't willing to talk about something from her past. "Ya know I thought that you were my friend and that you were willing to talk to me about anything! But no. I told you about all of my secrets didn't I? About all of my old boyfriends why can't you?"  
  
"You don't understand me Kinal. I went through something's that I would rater not mention. I told you I was an orphan right? Did you ever think to ask how?"  
  
"No... I wouldn't do that to you. It's something that doesn't need to be said."  
  
"Exactly. Some other things I went through don't need to be said. Like Heero."  
  
"Heero is just some old boyfriend that you had and aren't able to let go of. I'm right aren't I? I thought you were stronger than that Mako. I thought you would be able to let go of someone after the relationship ended."  
  
"You have no right to say anything about me and Heero! You don't know anything about me!"  
  
"You were my role model Mako. I just thought you would like to know. I looked up to you because I thought that you were always the strongest person I ever met. I didn't think you would keep secrets from me, I thought we were friends."  
  
"We are friends Kinal."  
  
"No we aren't!" she snapped back. "You keep everything from me! How can we be friends if we don't understand anything about each other!"  
  
"Fine!" Mako yelled back. "See if I care!" and with that she walked off.  
  
  
  
The perfect soldier looked up from his work again. Heero sighed suddenly. 'How come this has to be so damn hard?' he asked himself and anyone listening. 'God, why do I ahve to suffer like this? How come Janurary 5 even exsists? I wish it didn't.'  
  
'No.' he thought again. 'If Janurary 5th never exsisted I would have never met Mako and if I never met Mako I would have never become a gundam piloet. She changed me forever without her knowing, I became a gundam pilot to please her father and the exact night I was going to tell her.'he suddenly stopped. 'Her dad was in the coma.' he continued.  
  
'Oh it's all might fault. I shouldn't have told her that night. She was sad and drepressed and she needed me to be her strenght. But I couldn't because I had to go and tell her about me being a pilot.' He cursed himself out. 'Heero you can be such a idot sometimes ya know that!' Heero sighed deeply. 'But that was all in the past right? The past wasn't important the future was.' he stated repeating some clishies he had once hear somewhere. But even those didn't seem to help.  
  
'Mako is probebly long gone thinking about me. I mean a girl of her stature being the daughter of who her father was, has tons of guys availible. I was probely just some rebound boyfriend or something....NO!' He yelled at himself. 'Mako thought about him as more than just another boyfriend right? Right.' he tried to comfort himself. But no amount of comforting could help him to feel better.  
  
  
  
The princess of Earth walked into the hotel loby she was staying at. "Princess you're room is ready." someone behind the desk said smiling.  
  
"Yeah sure. Great." she answered depressed.  
  
"Okay, have a nice stay. The emergency numbers are by the phone if you need anything. The front desk's number is 0."  
  
She dragged herself over to the elevator loft and waited for the elevator. 'Stupid elevator.' she thought after a while. 'How come it isn't coming!?'  
  
Unknown to her someone was entering the Hotel lobby too. "Relena? Are you okay? You don't look so good." Lina said after while noticing her friend.  
  
"It is no consern of you'res if I look good or not got it?" Relena snapped back. "If you think acting like my friend is gonna make are arguement go away then you are very wrong!"  
  
"Relena.." Lina tried "I just wanted to say..." she started but couldn't continue. 'Why the heck an I apoligizing?! I didn't do anything! I'm not the helpless romantic who can't get a clue when she can't get the guys she wants!'  
  
"You wanted to say what? I don't have alot of time, so you better make this quick."  
  
But before Lina could respond the elevator arrived and Relena got on. "Aren't you coming?" she asked annoyed at Lina not moving.  
  
"Nope." she replied softly not willing to be alone with Relena. "No thanks."  
  
"Your lost." she replied  
  
  
  
She walked through the city endlessly. 'I'm sorry Kinal.' she thought silently. 'I didn't mean to yell at you.' And a tear started to drip down her face as she closed her eyes and continued walking. 'It's just that Janurary 5th is more than just another day Kinal. It's the aniversity of something rather someone very special in her life even if he is gone now.'  
  
/That's no excuse Kinal./ she stopped herself. /I can't blame Heero for this, he's not even here. And even if he was it's no reason to yell at you Kinal./  
  
  
  
"I think we should all take a walk and get away from this." Wufei added noticing the silent and saddening mood of the house that reflected that of the inhibitors.  
  
"I guess you are right," Quatra added looking around. 'This isn't exactually the nicest mood I've seen everyone in.'  
  
"Sure, I'll go grab my coat okay?" Trowa added as he left the room and returned handing Wufei and Quatra their coats.  
  
"Thanks." Quatra stated offering a small smile the best he could do at that time.  
  
"Yeah." Wufei added opening the door and walking out. The other two pilots soon followed him.  
  
  
  
*angel!*- hey yeah I know it's short but I figured if I put it in short I could post it now and wait till I could finish it up. 


	13. what are you doing here?

Authors notes: sorry about taking so long on this chapter I really am. I actually knew how I wanted this one to go for a while and didn't write it because I was trying to move my site to like it's 6th place to try to find a good place to host it. Sorry!  
  
The Confusion of Love  
  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 11  
  
"So where exactually are we going?" Quatra asked Wufei as he rured to catch up to his friend.  
  
"Not sure. Just walking I guess." he replied looking behind him. "Trowa ya wanna walk any faster?" he called  
  
"No, not really." Trowa replied "I'm happy walking as slow as I am right now."  
  
"I think we should slow down." Quatra stated looking at Wufei "Do you mind?"  
  
"Why would I mind? I don't even know where we're going in the first place." Wufei stated slowing down. "Now, if you both don't mind. I would like to ask you guys a couple of question."  
  
"You want to know about Mako, huh?" Trowa asked. "I guess it's all right if we tell him."  
  
"You guys act like this is some 'big' secret that we have to hide from everyone."  
  
"It's not really." Quatra admitted.  
  
"The how come you didn't want me to go tell Heero? He would have helped you all out a lot."Wufei commented.  
  
Trowa sighed. "It's not like we were being stubborn or anything. I guess in a way we were being stubborn. All we wanted to find out is what happened to Heero in his past. He's been hiding something from us, and all we what to know is what so we can help him out, and all we know is that this Mako person has something to do with it."  
  
"I get it. So that's all you guys know? With you guyes computer skills, I say you both are deeply screwed."  
  
"Hey!" Quatra yelled back. "That was up called for!"  
  
"I don't think he ment it like that, did you Wufei?" Trowa asked trying not to further compicate anything.  
  
"Trowa's right." Wufei stated.  
  
"Thank you." he interupted smilling. "It's great to know that I'm appreciated."  
  
"Anyway, all I was saying was that you two are lost with what computer skills you both have. I was just stating a fact."  
  
"A very big fact." Quatra repeated agreeliy as he sighed. 'Maybe I should have been paying attention in basic camp.'  
  
"Right. But in my mind if anyone's screwed it's Dou." Wufei stated sighing. "Poor guy."  
  
"Why?"Quatra asked confused. "I know that they, Hilde and Dou, are having problems."  
  
Wufei suddenly cut off his friend. "It's more that just problems. Hilde wants them to take a break from each other."  
  
"What?" Quatra almost yelled is disbolife. "Those two have been together almost as long as we have know Dou, that's like 4 years right? To think that even after that long they still had probems. It makes you wonder, what if that failed what else might?"  
  
"Dou still loves her, and I'm pretty sure she loves him back. Hilde's probley afraid of something and is afraid to talk to Dou about it, so she asked him if they could take a break. That way, she's still Dou's girlfriend and is able to think this thing out."  
  
"Makes since." Trowa nodded agrieingly. "But why know? It's strange."  
  
"Everything is strange." Quatra commented as Wufei nodded.  
  
"Amen to that."  
  
  
  
Makoto contined to walk into what looked like a park to her. She wasn't sure where she was or how she was gonna get home, but then again she flat out didn't give a damn. She saw a what looked like a small fountain, and splashed some cold water onto her face, hoping to get rid of some of the signs of tears on her face. Noticing that it didn't help, she got up and walked through the park trying to get her thoughts together.  
  
'Kinal hates he now, and I don't blame her.' she stated to herself. 'Who wouldn't? If I were her I would have been mad at me a long time ago. Maybe this isn't about Kinal maybe this is about Heero, having to suddenly face talking about him along time ago.' She thought that ara in her life was over, a portion of her life she didn't want to face again. 'But what if I have to see him again?' she asked herself 'What if he's different? What if.' she suddenly stopped when she dumped into someone falling on the ground. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault." she stated as she got up. "Quatra?" she asked suprized. "I didn't mean to run into you."  
  
"It's okay, Mako." he answered. "It's really my fault." Quatra felt like jumping as he counted his lucky stars. He didn't notice her tear cover face.  
  
"Mako what's wrong?" Trowa suddenly asked stepping forward. "You look like you were just crying.  
  
Wufei looked at the whole scene in amazment. Maybe deciding to stay back and wait to be introduced was the right thing, it was obvious they all need.  
  
Quata suddenly looked at her and cussed himself out on his stupidness. He was only think about seeing her again, and obviously didn't notice the pain in her eyes. "Mako?" he asked "You know you can tell us."  
  
"No I can't." she softly whispered. "You guys are happy now. I can't tell you because I don't want to ruin whatever thing you were happy about."  
  
"We were happy to see you, Mako." Quatra tried to convise her. 'she's being stubbron.'  
  
"If just seeing someone you know makes you happy Quatra," she started. "I can just imagine what could make you sad, no Quatra. You're to naive to understand."  
  
'How come everyone things I'm native?' he asked silently. 'I am not native!' "You don't understand Mako. We have been trying to find you again ever since we met you." he suddenly stopped after recieving a look from Trowa.  
  
"Why would you try to find me Quatra?" she asked confused. "What's so special about me?"  
  
"Because you changed Heero forever." Quatra knew he should shut up, but couldn't because he was getting fed up with Mako being stubborn.  
  
"I never wanted him to change!" she yelled unexpectinly as Trowa and Quatra stepped back. "I loved how he was! But my dad didn't aprove of him so he changed to get my dad's approval! Then I never saw him again! So don't you ever say I changed him Quatra! Ever!" she suddenly stopped biting her lip trying unsuceesfully to fight back tears. Realizing she couldn't she truned around and started to walk off.  
  
"What are you waiting for?" Trowa stated his voice full of anger at the stupidity of his friend. "Go after her."  
  
Quatra nodded as he ran in the direction Mako left in.  
  
  
  
Quatra looked suddenly catching a glimpse of the only person who could fix Heero's life. "This is all my fault." he stated to softly as if she was a scared little girl he was afraid to scare off. "Shouldn't have pushed."  
  
"People always push Quatra. It's not big deal." she answered as she grabbed her knees tighter.  
  
"Mako." the blonde haired gundam pilot stated regretfully. "I never met to hurt to." he appoligized as he walked closer to her.  
  
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just upset. My best friend is mad at me, and nothings going right." she sobbed.  
  
"Mako." he offered softly opening his arms as she cried into his shirt. He knew that no matter what he said, he couldn't prevent her saddness so he didn't say anything. His shirt was all that he could offer and it was all that he did.  
  
  
  
"What's taking them both so long?"Wufei asked impassently. He hated to imet it but he was starting to get curious about this whole thing.  
  
"How am I suppose to know?"Trowa asked back.  
  
"Do you think he lost her?" Wufei asked looking in the direction they both went.  
  
"Maybe I guess, but if he did he's gonna be dead when he comes back. To think I thought it would make Dou feel better. That's the only reason that I didn't say anything. I thought you guys would introduce me when the time came and you both remembered me."  
  
"We didn't quite forget you." Trowa lied.  
  
"Yeah you did. You guys started your 'whole little happy-then-turned- non-happy-get-toghether' with out me."  
  
"First of all, you where there, you saw what happened. Second Dou would be happy to see his friend happy, but I don't think that it'll do anything other than that to him."  
  
"If Dou saw his friend get back together with his true love then don't you think that would make him feel better about him and Hilde."  
  
"What makes you say Heero and Mako even ever dated?" Trowa questioned.  
  
"Hello!" Wufei stated annoyed at his friend. "Doesn't it scream 'We used to be together and aren't any more!?'"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"You guess?! Did you fall in the shower today?"  
  
"Maybe. Only Mako and Heero know the truth."  
  
"I guess." Wufei added not wanting the fight to go on any longer.  
  
  
  
Quatra's gaze looked away from the Mako and up into the night sky. But even that didn't seem to help. "Do you want to go back?" Quatra asked the girl in his arms.  
  
"Sure." she stated  
  
Wufei looked at the whole scene in amazment. Maybe deciding to stay back and wait to be introduced was the right thing, it was obvious they all need 


	14. explanation and quiz

Quatra looked suddenly catching a glimpse of the only person who could fix Heero's life. "This is all my fault." he stated to softly as if she was a scared little girl he was afraid to scare off. "Shouldn't have pushed."  
  
"People always push Quatra. It's not big deal." she answered as she grabbed her knees tighter.  
  
"Mako." the blonde haired gundam pilot stated regretfully. "I never met to hurt to." he appoligized as he walked closer to her.  
  
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just upset. My best friend is mad at me, and nothings going right." she sobbed.  
  
"Mako." he offered softly opening his arms as she cried into his shirt. He knew that no matter what he said, he couldn't prevent her saddness so he didn't say anything. His shirt was all that he could offer and it was all that he did.  
  
  
  
"What's taking them both so long?"Wufei asked impassently. He hated to imet it but he was starting to get curious about this whole thing.  
  
"How am I suppose to know?"Trowa asked back.  
  
"Do you think he lost her?" Wufei asked looking in the direction they both went.  
  
"Maybe I guess, but if he did he's gonna be dead when he comes back. To think I thought it would make Dou feel better. That's the only reason that I didn't say anything. I thought you guys would introduce me when the time came and you both remembered me."  
  
"We didn't quite forget you." Trowa lied.  
  
"Yeah you did. You guys started your 'whole little happy-then-turned- non-happy-get-toghether' with out me."  
  
"First of all, you where there, you saw what happened. Second Dou would be happy to see his friend happy, but I don't think that it'll do anything other than that to him."  
  
"If Dou saw his friend get back together with his true love then don't you think that would make him feel better about him and Hilde."  
  
"What makes you say Heero and Mako even ever dated?" Trowa questioned.  
  
"Hello!" Wufei stated annoyed at his friend. "Doesn't it scream 'We used to be together and aren't any more!?'"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"You guess?! Did you fall in the shower today?"  
  
"Maybe. Only Mako and Heero know the truth."  
  
"I guess." Wufei added not wanting the fight to go on any longer.  
  
  
  
Quatra's gaze looked away from the Mako and up into the night sky. But even that didn't seem to help. "Do you want to go back?" Quatra asked the girl in his arms.  
  
"Sure." she stated "Do I really have a choice?" she asked honestly.  
  
"Oh course you have a choice I wouldn't make you back."  
  
"Quatra stop being so native." she sighed. 'Why isn't he getting it?' she wondered. "I'm gonna have to face this soon enough Quatra, I guess I might as well face it now." she added after a long silence.  
  
"You and Heero both act like this is a big thing and all, but really is it?"  
  
"Quatra of course it's a big thing. It was one of the biggest things in my life." she started looking away.  
  
"I'm sorry." he stated regretfully. "I pushed again huh?"  
  
"Yeah, ya did Quatra but that's okay." she stated turning around with a smile on her face.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked softly.  
  
"I'm ready to go." she said "Now or never right?"  
  
Quatra just smiled.  
  
  
  
"And that's about it." Mako stated as she looked at the 3 gundam piolets nervious about what they would say.  
  
"Hmm." 'No wonder Heero has been so wierd.'  
  
"Yeah it is. Now if you don't have any questions it's kinda late and I was wondering if I could go home." she stated wanting to get away from their questioning glares.  
  
"I think that's it." Quatra stated. "But can we have your phone number just in case...just in case anything happens." he finished up quickly.  
  
"Sure I guess." she responded grabbing Quatra's hand. She smiled once he blushed. "Here it is." she said letting go of his arm.  
  
  
  
"You still never introduced us." Wufei stated looking at Trowa.  
  
Trowa simply blushed. "Ya know... I was like gonna.. but..."  
  
Quatra just laughed. 'He always had his way with words. but wait? What an I doing?' but suddenly became serious. "What do any of you say we should do?"  
  
"What do you mean by 'What do any of you say we should do?" Wufei asked confused.  
  
"I think he means about Mako and Heero. Don't you Quatra?"  
  
"Right." his friend stated.  
  
"I don't want to talk about that now." Trowa said massaging his temple. 'Stop it!' he ordered his head. 'Damn it.'  
  
"I guess." Quatra answered, he looked over at Wufei who simply nodded.  
  
*angel!*- that's it for now. I kinda (but not solidly) know how I want this all the end up. I have a view doubts if it'll go that way, and if anyone has any ideas on anything, it would be greatly apprieciated. One of the things that I would be interested in knowing about is if people know who they want Quatra with. At first I thought Trowa, then i thouhgt about bringing someone else into our little story but desided it might not be the best thing in the world. So comment and tell me! 


	15. can you belive that woman?!

Author's notes: sorry about taking so long to post this. Believe me it isn't my fault. I caught a cold and wasn't alowed on the internet and then I was grounded so yeah. I'm really sorry! But I have decided that I'm going to rewrite this story before I work on my sequel, if I decide to have a sequel. I've even consitered if I wanted to turn a couple of the chapters into songfics. But I finally decided that I was going to have the whole thing be a songfic. You'll have to wait to find out!  
  
The confusion of love  
  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Lina suddenly felt herself being pushed up against someone. "Relena." she whispered. Relena in turn just ignored her, not ready to talk. "Relena." she stated louder. "Relena!" she yelled angrily. "I need to talk to you Damn it!"  
  
"I thought you said that princesses couldn't cuss." Relena replied, her voice dripping in sarcasm.  
  
"I'm not the princess here. I don't have little rules I have to follow."  
  
"Are you calling my rules little?" Relena asked annoyed at having to have this conversation.  
  
"Nope just your rules."  
  
Relena smiled a little at that. "I'm sorry." she stated finally.  
  
"It's okay. I should be the one apologizing." Lina contridicted.  
  
"No. It's my fault. Me and my hopeless love issues." Relena became sad  
  
"You don't have love issues you just are a little challenged in love." Lina stated showing a smile of reassurance.  
  
"It's the same thing isn't it?" Relena asked staring out the window.  
  
"No it isn't. I'll tell you what. How about we visit Heero and you can try to work these things out?"  
  
"Really?" Relena squeaked. "That would be great! But are you sure you wouldn't mind?"  
  
"As you're friend I would be delighted to. Plus the kingdom would love to see you married." she winked knowingly at her friend.  
  
"Me and Heero are not getting married!" she said blushing.  
  
Lina laughed. "hey!" she yelled after she got hit in the head with the pillow.  
  
"Served you right."  
  
"That's it!" she threw a pillow back. She stopped once Relena started to cough.  
  
"You okay?" she asked concerned.  
  
"Maybe we should have taken the limo." Relena stated.  
  
"You stay here. I'm going to go buy some medicine, okay?" she watched Relena nod. "Call the front desk if you need anything!" she yelled as she closed the door.  
  
"We're out of Aspirin." Trowa yelled from the bathroom.  
  
"Isn't there some in the bathroom under the counter?!" Quatra yelled back.  
  
"I checked there!" he yelled at his friend.  
  
"I'm be there in a minute!" Quatra shouted walking towards the bathroom. He didn't want to disturb the neighbors even though they lived a long way away.  
  
Quatra stared suprize at the mess all over the floor. "Are you sure there isn't an Aspirin under that mess?" he joked.  
  
Trowa didn't share in the humor. "Nope." he stated looking under the counter again to see if by chance he missed it.  
  
"I'll go get Wufei to buy some okay?" Quatra stated after taking one more look at the floor. 'No way I'm looking under that.' He returned after awhile. "You're head bothering you?" he asked, asking the obvious as Trowa continuously rubbed his head to try the relieve the pain.  
  
"You are sure obverant today."  
  
"Is it serious?" Quatra asked hoping his friend was okay.  
  
"Serious enough for an aspirin. Probably this whole Heero thing."  
  
"This must mean you don't think much." he joked.  
  
"Hey!" He threw a bottle of cough medicine at Quatra, which Quatra eazily caught.  
  
"You sure it isn't serious?" he put the bottle down.  
  
"Quatra." he warned. "I have a headache. I'm not gonna die."  
  
"If you say so." he smiled at his friend who smiled back. He suddenly felt a weird feeling toward Trowa. 'What the hell am I feeling?!' he asked himself he angrily.  
  
"I feel like I'm going around in circles." Lina stated concerned. "Maybe I should ask for directions. Hey you!" she yelled at Wufei.  
  
Wufei turned around. "Yes?" he asked not sure if he was getting yelled at. He looked around to see no one else was around.  
  
"I feel stupid for asking this but, I'm a tourist and one of my friends I was staying at kinda got sick so I was going to buy some medicine but I kinda got lost. Can you tell me where the nearest pharmacy is?" she looked into his eyes, her eyes almost pleading with him.  
  
"Sure. Go 3 blocks that way." he pointed north. "And turn left at the stop light. The store is about 1 block left."  
  
"Thank you." Lina stated as she started north. She felt like she was being followed and turned around to see Wufei behind her.  
  
"You don't have to show me the way." Lina stated a hint of fear in her voice, sure he looked decent enough, but she had never seen a stalker before and was beginning to wonder if he was one.  
  
"I'm not. I just so happen to be off buying some Aspirin for one of my roommates." Wufei asked a little angry. 'Like she really has to know where the hell I'm going!? Really!'  
  
"Oh." she sighed. "Okay. At first I thought you where a stalker or something."  
  
Wufei didn't say anything but it was obvious that he was annoyed at her. 'Stupid Onna.' he muttered after awhile.  
  
Lina heard him and pretended not to know. 'How would you feel if someone was following you around in a strange place really. He's just a jerk.' she shook her head.  
  
Wufei knew that he had heard him when she continued to walk after the turn. He debated over weither or not to tell her. "Where do you think you aren't going?!" he yelled after her.  
  
"I already told you! To the pharmacy even though it's no business of yours!" she yelled angrily.  
  
"Have a nice time!" he yelled sarcastically. "Expessiouly since you missed your turn!"  
  
Lina suddenly realized that she had and a small blush formed on her cheeks. 'Bastard.' she thought walking back to Wufei. "Are you happy now?!" she yelled at him in his face.  
  
"What did I do? Did you want me to not tell you, that you were going the wrong way?!" he yelled back.  
  
"The only reason that I missed the turn was because you had to go call me a stupid Onna!"  
  
"That's nice, blaming other people for your mistakes!" he knew he should stop but he just couldn't.  
  
"I do not blame other people when it isn't there fault! It was you're fault!" she yelled back.  
  
"You are the most annoying person I ever met! And if you will excuse me I'm going to go buy some Aspirin for my friend and then take some for myself because of the headache you gave me!" he walked off. Lina walked behind him not saying a word. He opened the door to the shop and purposely slammed it in her face.  
  
"Bastard." she stated opening the door and letting herself in.  
  
"Is this it?" the clerk asked politely.  
  
Wufei glared at her. "Nope I have an invisible bottle here to." he stated not meaning to be mean to her.  
  
"Be nice to the poor lady." Lina stated from behind him.  
  
"Who gave you the right to tell me what to do?" he asked rudely.  
  
"I'm only trying to save her from you."  
  
"Are you saying that people need to be saved from me?"  
  
"That'll be 4.33." interrupted the clerk on purpose trying to prevent them from getting worse.  
  
Wufei fished a credit card out of his wallet. "Can you sign her Mr. Wufei Chan?" she asked handing him a piece of paper.  
  
He quickly signed and gave in back to her and picked up the bag.  
  
"Next please."  
  
'Wufei interesting.' she mentally saved that name "That's Me." she stated putting the bottle of medicine on the belt.  
  
"Here you go." Wufei stated as he threw the bottle at Trowa. "And just so you know that is the last time I am ever going to the store!"  
  
"Was it really that bad?" Quatra asked.  
  
Wufei looked flabbergasted. "Of course I was bad!"  
  
"What was so bad?" Dou asked sleepily as he yawned.  
  
"Wufei picking up a bottle of Aspirin." Quatra mentally shock his head at the thought of his friend not getting up until after 3 p.m. because of Hilde. He mentally promised Dou he would fix whatever had happened to them.  
  
Dou looked confused. "What's so bad about having to go to the store?"  
  
"There was the most annoying and aggravating woman there. She asked me how to get to the pharmacy and I told her and started walking the same direction and then she accused me of being a stalker! She even yelled at me after I told she had missed her turn! Stupid Onna!"  
  
"The bottle's open." Trowa commented.  
  
"Of course the bottle is open! The stupid Onna gave me a headache and I had to take one! Now if you will all excuse me I'm going downstairs to take a walk!"  
  
"I'm going to go eat breakfast." Dou stated.  
  
"It's after 3. Don't you mean Lunch?" Trowa asked hinting that he didn't approve of his friend's sleeping habits.  
  
"It's all the same to me. It's all food." and with that he felt.  
  
"I've decided on 2 life goals. One, to put Heero back together with Mako and two to put Hilde and Dou back together." Quatra stated after awhile.  
  
"You shouldn't mess with powers you can't understand."  
  
"What about you?" Quatra asked.  
  
"I'm smart enough to understand it."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Relena was almost asleep in her bed when she heard a loud banging of the door. "Lina is that you?" she called.  
  
"How much do you weigh?" was her answer.  
  
"What?" Relena asked confused.  
  
"How much do you weigh?" she repeated. "I need to know how much to give you." she said annoyed.  
  
"123." she called back. "Did something happen?" she asked after Lina handed her the medicine. 'Lina isn't usually this angry.'  
  
"Some stupid bastard at the store. But don't worry about it." she offered a small smile. "I'm going to go take a shower okay?" Relena nodded and she walked off.  
  
'Must have been some big bastard.' Relena thought as she laid back down and closed her eyes falling asleep.  
  
Across the city someone else was getting ready for bed. 'It's for the best.' she kept reminding herself once her mind trailed back to her ex-boyfriend. She wanted to reach for the phone and call Dou and tell him that she was sorry and that she didn't mean what she said but deep down she knew she did.  
  
Her old friend told her that Dou would never make a good husband and that she would have to follow him around like his mother and not his wife to make sure he didn't do anything wrong.  
  
He friend had offered 2 options. Mold Dou into the perfect guy, which Hilde found impossible. Dou was already the perfect guy to her if she believed in such a thing. Dou was unique and she didn't want to change him. The other choice was to dump Dou and find some new who would serve as a better husband. Her friend warned her that if she didn't that she would never be truly happy.  
  
Hilde had always wanted to have kids and to marry someone who could take care of her. Ashley warned her that Dou couldn't even takes care of himself then he couldn't take care of her or their kids.  
  
Hilde slowly reached for the phone and dialed.  
  
"Hello." a voice answered.  
  
"You said that the only way to be truly happy was to dump Dou. But now I feel worse." she didn't bother to say who she was, not that she needed to Ashley knew who she was.  
  
"Getting over a breakup is always hard. But you have to be strong. Soon this time will pass and you will meet someone that you truly belong to."  
  
"What if I truly belonged to Dou?" she asked.  
  
Hilde could hear her friend sigh in annoyment. "You don't belong to him Hilde. You deserve better than him. You deserve someone who can take care of you."  
  
"I guess you are right." Hilde agreed.  
  
"Oh course I'm right. I know these things Hilde. I've been in enough relationships to know this." She was right of course. Ashley had dated more guys than Hilde could remember and dumped them when she said she knew they were not the one. Ashley loved to give out advice to other people about love. It made her feel important, like being rich wasn't enough. She also loved to flirt. She said she could learn a lot about a guy by flirting with him. Hilde would rather have a conversation that didn't involve batting her eyelashes and winking but Hilde listened to Ashley who was a seasoned vet and she was just a rookie.  
  
"But what am I suppose to do about this feeling I have?"  
  
"Ignore it. It's like a child holding a temper tantrum. It only wants attention and if you give it any it wins. Find something else to do with your life. Sign up for a yoga class, take up a sport, do anything that takes your mind off of him. And most of all, you need to start dating more. After all how can you find your soul-mate if you don't look for him yourself?"  
  
Hilde bit her tongue. She wanted to ask about how she accidently met Dou but she knew that Ashley would have something to say about that to. "I've got to get to bed." she stated after a while.  
  
"Bye." Ashley stated cheerfully happy to get the conversation over with  
  
"Bye." And with that she hung the phone up.  
  
Heero continued to install some new device for his Gundam although his mind wasn't on his work. He stole another glance at the clock. 11:34. in less that 30 minutes the anniversary of his breakup with Mako. When he started basic training he couldn't just quit and run back to her could he? Running back would make him a coward and he had promised her father he would do it. He planned returning to see her after it was over and he tried calling and leaving a message but she never called back or wrote. Like she didn't care about him anymore.  
  
"I'm sorry for everything, Mako." he stated even though she wasn't there. "I'll make it up to you somehow." Heero didn't know how but he would. He promised to find Mako and make everything better.  
  
Meanwhile Mako was lieing in an open field and was staring up at the stars.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Where exactually are we going?" Mako asked as Heero pushed her in one direction.  
  
"Keep you're blindfold on. You'll see soon enough." he stated as he gently guided her down a hill.  
  
"You know being patient isn't one of my strong suits." she commented trying to see through her blindfold.  
  
"Patience is a virtune." he stated reciting a clinic.  
  
"I have my own version to that remember? Patience is a virtune but waiting sucks." Heero laughed at her joke. "Are you laughing at me?"  
  
"No, but no peaking. But I'll let you guess. What do you feel?"  
  
Mako snorted. "You know I hate these kind of puzzles. I feel the wind. So that means we're out side right?"  
  
"Right. Any other things."  
  
"I feel you're arm but I doubt that's gonna help me any."  
  
Heero laughed. "No it will not. You can take your blind fold off now."  
  
Mako did so and gasped when she saw the picnic basket on top of a blanket. "We're going to take a picnic in the park after dark? My father is going to kill me if he finds out."  
  
"Who ever said he has to find out." he whispered into her ear. Mako blushed. He sat down on the blanket and patted a place beside him telling her to sit down to which she did. "You said you wanted to learn more about the stars and I managed to pay attention for a couple of classes to learn some."  
  
Mako looked at him confused and then laid her head down on his shoulder. Imagine a guy who liked to sleep through most of his classes payed attention to her.  
  
"That one's named Pisces." Heero commented pointing up into the sky. "Now you try one." he offered.  
  
Mako took the book from him and looked up, "Is that one the big dipper?" she pointed.  
  
"Nope. It's Cancer."  
  
"I told you I'm not good at these." she pretended to pout.  
  
"Poor baby." he whispered as he leaned in a lightly kissed her.  
  
*end of flashback*  
  
"That was our first kiss." she stated sighing. "But it's most likely useless now. I can't hang onto a kiss because I want to. It just doesn't work like that. Kinal is right. Maybe I do need to forget about Heero."  
  
"No you don't." a voice behind her spoke up.  
  
Mako turned around in suprize. "Kinal." she whispered shocked.  
  
"I'm sorry about yelling at you. I only became annoyed when you didn't want to talk about Heero. But now I realize that sometimes people aren't ready to talk about things in there past and you have to wait until they are ready.  
  
"Kinal. I know that I need to tell you."  
  
She only shoke her head. "You don't need to tell me anything. You're my friend and I trust you."  
  
"I trust you to. That's why we need to talk about it." Mako interupted.  
  
"Only if you want to talk about it. I don't need to know right now and only when you are ready. Now lets get you home, It's almost midnight."  
  
Mako nodded as her and Kinal started toward her apartment.  
  
'Why did I let him bother me?' she asked herself confused as she threw her clothes off and climbed into the shower.  
  
She wasn't angry as angry as she used to be. Right now she was just confused. She, as Relena's personal servant and friend, traveled everywhere she went. She went around the world and still she felt the same around everyone of those bastards.  
  
Men are just jackasses, she reminded herself. 'At least I'll never have to see that bastard again.' she reminded herself. 'What was his name?' she asked. 'Ah yes, Wufei.'  
  
'Wufei.' she repeated as she reached for the soap. 'That name seems so familar.' She shook her hand as if shaking of the thought. 'He's just one more bastard in the world. Like another one of those jackasses. At least I don't ever have to see him again.'  
  
Lina reached over and turned the water off. She climbed out and grabbed a towel and after wrapping it around herself looking into the fogged up mirror.  
  
"That's like my future and my life." she reminded herself ruefully, her voice full of bitterness. "All fogged up, never a perfect moment only fake made up pretend moments and then suddenly it hits me like how a mirror shows how bad you look on a bad day. Except all of my days are bad days, make that bad years."  
  
Unknown to her Relena was leaning her ear against the door. 'She never told me.' she thought saidfully. 'I guess I always jus guessed she had a great life. I'm sorry about not asking about anything, Lina.' she thought to the absent friend. 'I promise to ask next time. I promise.' she repeated to herself before climbing back into bed and taking one more look at the bathroom door completely forgeting about her drink of water.  
  
*angel!*- suprizingly this was 7 pages long. probebly because I wasn't able to get on to post this i just kept on adding to it. Most of the last couple of chapters are finished, but not getting to them, that takes time. 


	16. doctor's visit/ what do you mean?!

Author's notes: Sorry about taking so long to write, but I got grounded again! It wasn't even my fault! So due to that this chapter is longer than usual so enjoy. r+r  
  
The confusion of love  
  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 14  
  
"Need to talk to you Kinal." Mako stated as she looked into her friends eyes as they reached her apartment.  
  
"We don't need to talk about it." she replied moving her arms around as if to shew the thought away.  
  
"I need to talk about it, Kinal. I need to talk about it to my friend." she opened the door and let her and her friend in.  
  
Kinal let in and went inside.  
  
"As you know I'm the daughter of an ex-general. Even though my father was rich I attended public schools because my dad believed it would do me good. I did well in practicly all of my classes but Heero was kind of a slacker and slept through most of his classes. But he was smart deep inside I knew that. He flew we to the stars..." she paused for a while as if reliving a moment.  
  
"I thought you said that you were a virgin." Kinal couldn't believe she was actually saying that but she really wanted to know.  
  
Mako blushed. "Not that way." she stamered. "It's kind of compicated but Heero loved the stars."  
  
Kinal in turn blushed. "I understand now." a devilish grin started on her face. "Woud you have liked him to have shown you the stars?"  
  
Mako blushed even harder.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." Kinal was really enjoying herself.  
  
"Shut up." she sounded angry but her face showned different as she smiled embarresed.  
  
"Okay. But I want to know what happened next. This is sounding like a soap opera."  
  
"Sure this makes me feel a lot better. But what would you call the name of my soap." she teased.  
  
"Girl with a big heart sounds to lame." she relaxed some more on the sofa.  
  
"Your right. But maybe I should write one. And I'm grateful you would call it that."  
  
"You're stalling."  
  
She laughed "Maybe. Maybe not. You decide."  
  
"I chose you tell me."  
  
"That's not an option."  
  
"To me it is." her friend laughed.  
  
"Fine. My father didn't approve of Heero because he was well..." she paused trying to kind the right word.  
  
"Not a hard worker?" Kinal offered.  
  
"Yes. He wanted Heero to go under special training and to become as soldier. But I didn't want Heero to change. He wanted by dad's approval so much that he was willing to do that for me. My father died the night he told me and I was so scared that he would die like my father. We both said some things we didn't mean and he never came back."  
  
Kinal looked shocked at her friend. "How come you never told me?"  
  
"Could you have helped?" she sighed.  
  
Kinal nodded understandingly. "But I want to help. I'll help by hitting you in the face."  
  
"What?!" but it was to late as a pillow hit her in the face.  
  
The night continued as two voices of laugher filled the room.  
  
  
  
Heero walked upstairs from the basement not bothering to turn on the light because he always knew where everything was. 'The perfect soldier.' he reminded himself his heart blistering.  
  
He continued to walk into the kitchen for no reason, an unconsious decision.  
  
Heero opened the refegerator and stared inside as if confused about why he opened it.  
  
'I might as well get used to this.' he told himself as he walked into his bedroom. He thought about all of the other times that he walked around the house like a sleepwalker. He fell onto the bed and instantly fell asleep, letting his mind wander into the bitttersweet memories of Mako.  
  
  
  
She stared up at the stars as if she was searching for something, like when you lose a shoe and you look everyhere even places you knew it couldn't possibly be.  
  
'I've done everything right do how come I don't feel any better?'  
  
  
  
The next morning at the Gundam House, Quatra was in the kitchen enjoying his breakfast when Trowa walked in.  
  
"Morining." Quatra said cheerfully as Trowa walked in. "How did you sleep?"  
  
Trowa porred himself a cup of coffee and after a few sips looked over at his friend. "What did I tell you about me having no mental stimulation in my brain before I drink any coffee?" He was purposly stalling. He hadn't slept well for his head hurt the entire night, not even the asprins helped much.  
  
Quatra blushed. "Well... was it something like... Don't make me think before I have my coffee for I'm about as smart as a rock." he stamered.  
  
Trowa nodded as he drank.  
  
"So how did you sleep?" Quatra tryed again.  
  
Trowa put his coffee down. "Like this." and he laiyed his head down on the counter and pretended to sleep.  
  
"Very funny." but Quatra still laughed a little. "Since when did you become a comedian?"  
  
"I think there for I am." he stated in a scholar voice.  
  
Quatra just had a funny look on his face and stuck his tounge out. 'Remind me to never ask Trowa a question he could make fun of.' he thought putting a mental note in his brain.  
  
"You were always one to add mental notes in his head."  
  
Quatra had a look of suprize on his face that his friend knew that. After a while he regained his compecture and answered. "You talk like that's a bad thing."  
  
"Nope. To tell you the truth I used to write on my arms because I forget stuff. I tryed using peices of paper, I would stick them in my pocket and forget about them and I would wash my pants so... yeah... I still do it sometimes." he admitted a little embaressed.  
  
"You never seice to amaze me do you?"  
  
"Nope." he smiled a little.  
  
"Morning." called Quatra as Wufei poured some coffee.  
  
"Not... a... mroning.... person." he stated slowly trying to get his friend to understand.  
  
Quatra seemed hurt but brushed that feeling off. "What's with you people and not being able to let the sun in?" he sounded a little annoyed.  
  
"We are both not morning people..." Trowa started.  
  
"And we both hate the sun in our eyes." Wufei finished. Both a little bit annoyed at Quatra but Wufei showed in more.  
  
"You both are wierd." Quatra mad a face.  
  
Wufei in turn raised one of his eyebrows. "You're one to talk."  
  
They all laughed. "I don't think so." Quatra contridicted.  
  
"To bad Dou isn't up to laugh to." Wufei stated and his face suddenly became serious. "Shit." he cursed. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay." but none of them really knew if it was.  
  
  
  
"My idea is that we should find a way to get Heero and Mako in the same room and then they would have to work everything out." Quatra stated. He and Wufei and Trowa were all in eating out to discuss to the ongoing problems.  
  
"I agree. What about you, Trowa?" he looked over at his friend.  
  
Trowa looked at both of them. HIs usual responce would be somewhere along the lines 'Are you crazy?! You can't just play with people!' But today he wasn't really paying attention. The reason was his head just hurt to damn much.  
  
"Trowa what about you?" Quatra repeated looking at his friend in worry.  
  
"Yeah...sure." But he knew he really wasn't  
  
"You look pale. Do you want to sit down." Quatra sounded worried as he got up.  
  
"I'm already sitting." he ment to be funny but Quatra didn't get it.  
  
"At least he's joking." Wufei commented on the situation not really seeing what's wrong.  
  
"Don't joke at a time like this." Quatra ordered Wufei.  
  
"What did I do?" Wufei asked angrily. "He was joking first." he pointed to Trowa.  
  
"He doesn't know what he's doing." Quatra explained rationatly.  
  
"I think I do." But his friend just shook that off.  
  
"You don't feel hot." he stated after putting his hand on Trowa's forehead. "But I wonder what's wrong?" it sounded more like a question as he looked at his friends.  
  
"My head hurts a little." Trowa admitted rubbing his temples.  
  
"Do you want to take so asprin?" he offered.  
  
"Nope. Asprin doesn't help much."  
  
"Now how would you know?" Quatra reasoned. "You're being a big baby."  
  
"Yeah, poor baby." Wufei teased.  
  
"Shut up." Trowa muttered a little embaressed. "I know because I had some last night and they didn't seem to help much."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?!" Quatra sounded esaperated.  
  
"You mean you made me run into someone I didn't enjoy-that weak onna- all because you had to have the asprin!"  
  
"Wufei shut up. If you aren't going to help you should leave." he turned to Trowa. "You should see a doctor."  
  
Trowa only nodded knowing he couldn't argue.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You're turn, have fun." Quatra stated.  
  
"Yeah, like this is going to be fun." he muttered.  
  
Quatra laughed. Wufei had already gone home because it really didn't seem like he could help any.  
  
"Why does it have to be so cold?" Trowa muttered under his breath once he was shown his room.  
  
"All of our patients say that. But things need to be steril. The temperature used to bother me to but not anymore. You get used to it."  
  
'Obviously I wasn't quiet enough.' he thought.  
  
"Now what seems to be the problem?" she asked as she was flipping through his files, making a few hums and huhs as she worked.  
  
'Didn't Quatra tell them before? Or is this lady just trying to be annoying?' he thought. "My head, I have migares and they don't seem to be getting better."  
  
"Did you take any medicine before and has it had any effect on preventing the pain?" she asked.  
  
Trowa couldn't believe his ears. 'If I the medicine had prevented to pains why would I be here?' but he didn't. Instead he stated. "I took some Asprin last night but they didn't seem to help."  
  
"Are you sure you took the right bottle of medicine?" she asked.  
  
'I'm not even going to justifly that with an aswer.' /Just did./ 'Shut up.'  
  
"Mr.?" she asked after he didn't answer.  
  
'I have to answer otherwise she'll think of me rude.' /Why would you care if she thought of you rude?/ "Just shut up."  
  
"Excuse me? Would you like to talk to the doctor now?" she sounded hurt, and ditzy.  
  
Trowa sighed as she left, no use fighting right? He really did want you her to leave. After a few minutes the doctor arived  
  
"Mr. Barton are you ready?" the doctor asked. He was realtivly young, about 30 and had short blonde hair. 'But he in no way looked like Quatra.' Trowa thought.  
  
"Yeah I am." he stated.  
  
"I hear you had a couple of problems with the nurse." he didn't sound angry, he didn't even sound suprized  
  
"Yeah." Trowa admitted.  
  
"You said that you were having headaches right?" he asked.  
  
'Do I have to go through this all again?' he asked admazed. "That's right."  
  
"Judy said you hadn't found any relief in pain killers."  
  
"Judy?" he asked confused. "Do you mean the nurse?"  
  
The doctor nodded. "Yes."  
  
"How long have you had these headaches?" he asked.  
  
"A couple of weeks I guess. It used to hurt on and off but now if hurts more often." he reasoned.  
  
"I see." Trowa suddenly felt he should be lieing on a coch for all the questions he was asked.  
  
"Where exactually does it hurt the most?" he asked not looking up from his papers.  
  
"Right here." he pointed to his left temple.  
  
"Okay. We'll do x-rays and then we'll look at them. Is that okay?" the doctor asked in his still monotone voice.  
  
"Sure. I guess."  
  
The doctor simply closed his file and left, Trowa following him.  
  
  
  
"How did it go?" Quatra asked once Trowa entered into the hallway.  
  
But before he could answer the receptionist spoke up. "The results should be in by the 10th. I'll see you back then."  
  
Trowa nodded in return.  
  
"X-ray?" Quatra sounded really worried. "You aren't dying on me are you?"  
  
Trowa laughed. "Oh course not. It's just routine."  
  
"Oh." he seemed embarressed.  
  
"Do you want to go home?" he asked.  
  
Quatra just nodded as they left. "Are you sure it's just routine?"  
  
Trowa only shoke his head.  
  
  
  
"Hmm... lets see... nope.... no way!" Lina stated after going through the various tourist handouts she got from the lobby.  
  
"Relena really wouldn't enjoy seeing the largest alligator." she laughed. "She's scared solid of them, plus she thinks it's rude how the hand them." she tossed that paplet on the floor.  
  
"She really would like the see Heero." she grinned a devilish grin.  
  
  
  
Dou rolled over on his bed and looked over at the clock. "Hilde wouldn't be pleased if she knew that I was getting up at 3 p.m." he stated as he rolled out of bed and fell out. "But she broke up with me so she doesn't care about me anymore."  
  
"But she did tell me that she wanted me to not change." he reminded himself.  
  
"But who cares what she says." he said bitterly.  
  
  
  
"How did everything go?" Wufei asked once Quatra and Trowa got home.  
  
"Don't you even want to say welcome home?" Quatra asked plopping down onto the sofa exusted.  
  
"Sure... Welcome home."  
  
"Say it with a little more emotion." he shook his finger in front of Wufei's face.  
  
Wufei looked over at Trowa for help who was only laughing. "Tell your boyfriend to be nice."  
  
"Boyfriend?" Trowa's cheeks blushed. "What are you all talking about?"  
  
"You are boyfriends right? Me and Dou were talking about it last night." Wufei seemed embaressed.  
  
"Did I just hear my name?" Dou asked entering the room.  
  
"Yeah." Wufei stated.  
  
"So what did you guys say about me?" he asked curious.  
  
"About what we talked about." Dou nodded.  
  
"Last time I checked I was staight. What about you Quatra?" he looked over at his friend.  
  
Quatra nodded. "I'm to."  
  
Wufei looked down embaressed. "I"m sorry for bringing it up." he muttered. "Some one just change the subject quick." Everyone laughed.  
  
"That's okay. But Trowa got back from the doctor and got some x- rays." Quatra looked a little worried as he played with his hands.  
  
"X-rays?" Dou sounded equally worried.  
  
"It's probably just nothing. I've been working to hard on this whole Heero thing." Trowa explained.  
  
"What do you mean by 'Heero thing'?" Dou asked. "I swear you don't tell me anything."  
  
"I'm sorry." Quatra said remorsefully.  
  
"It's okay, you all can tell me now." he smiled trying to prove it was okay.  
  
"Not that, about us getting into a little fight." Quatra explained.  
  
"Fight?" Dou sounded confused. "I don't-oh yeah, that fight. It's nothing. I guess I was just on my last wits end about me and Hilde."  
  
"Is there anything that I could do to make it all up to you."  
  
"I'll think about it. Now I'm going to the kitchen to eat some breakfast." Dou got up to leave.  
  
"It's 3 in the afternoon!" Trowa stated.  
  
"I just got up." and with that he left.  
  
Quatra shook his head and sighed obviously annoyed at his friend's habits. "What were you saying before the whole 'insedent'?" he looked at Wufei still a little blushed.  
  
"Oh yeah... I asked you about what happened at the doctor." Wufei looked just as embaressed.  
  
"Yeah, but that got answered earlier." he stated. "Maybe we could talk about Heero and Mako."  
  
"We don't know a lot but maybe we could talk to Mako, take her out to dinner or something, try to get her mind off Heero." Trowa suggested.  
  
"That's not a half bad idea." Wufei said smiling. "Wish I thought about that."  
  
"Maybe you didn't think about it because you aren't as smart as me." Trowa teased.  
  
Quatra laughed.  
  
  
  
"Maccaroni... Ramane noodles... or Cereal?" Dou stated looking through the cabinets.  
  
"Ramane noodle." he smiled as he opened the container and opened the microwave.  
  
  
  
"Moshi Moshi." Mako stated after answering the phone.  
  
"It's me Quatra." he said a little nervious.  
  
"Quatra?" she sounded suprized. "I didn't expect this."  
  
"You gave me your phone number. Should I have not called?" he sounded worried.  
  
"You could call. But why did you call?"  
  
"Because I'm calling on Trowa and Wufei's behalf." he started. 'Like they made me farkle and I lost.' he looked over at his friends with a deadly look on his face. "So I was wondering if you would like to go to lunch sometime?" he finished.  
  
"Sure I guess. Tommorrow I have the day off." she offered.  
  
"Tommorrow's good. But where do you want to go?" he asked.  
  
"I don't really care. But you have to promise me one thing."  
  
"What?" he asked switching the phone to his other hand.  
  
"Promise you willn't bring Heero with you." she whispered softly.  
  
"Why?" Quatra asked amazed. 'Why wouldn't she want Heero to come?' he shook his head.  
  
"You can be so native sometimes." she teased. But the joke was neither funny or lighthearted and she offered a pathetic laugh.  
  
Quatra laughed a little but was a little confused at her statement. 'Why does everyone think of me as native?'  
  
  
  
"Dou your going to lunch with us tommorrow!" Quatra yelled as he entered the kitchen.  
  
Dou looked at him with food in his mouth his face saying 'Why?'  
  
"Don't look at me like that. You're going weither you want to or not." and with that Quatra left. 


	17. lunch date

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Author's notes: 11 pages. wow. I think this is the  
  
longest one yet.  
  
The confusion of love  
  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Chapter 15  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"How do you feel today?" Lina asked cheerfully as  
  
Relena opened her eyes.  
  
Relena only mumbled something and turned over.  
  
Lina suddenly opened up the curtains allowing all of  
  
the sunlight to pour into the room.  
  
"Close the blinds right now." Relena ordered as the  
  
bright light blinded her eyes. Seeing that Lina wasn't  
  
doing anything of the sort she added. "That's an  
  
order!"  
  
Ignoring Relena, Lina pulled the covers off the bed.  
  
"Hey!" she introjected. "I need my beauty sleep!"  
  
"You're pretty enough already." she stated with a hint  
  
of jealiously in her voice that she quickly brushed off.  
  
"It's 7:30, I'm going back to bed." She buried her head  
  
under the pillow.  
  
"You used to wake up at 6 remember?" Lina reminded.  
  
"I'm on vacation remember?" she contridicted trying her  
  
hardest to get Lina to understand.  
  
"Maybe, but today you're on a mission." Lina winked  
  
even though Relena couldn't see her.  
  
"What kind of mission?" curiousosity got the best of  
  
her and ignoring her body's urgeses to go back to sleep  
  
she slowly got up.  
  
"A suprize mission." she said simply. Seeing Relena  
  
was about to go back to bed she added. "I'll give you a  
  
clue if you get out of bed right now." Seeing that she had  
  
gotten out Lina pushed the light princess into the bathroom.  
  
Relena sighed. "You know I could fire you right now." she  
  
reminded as she leaned up against the door.  
  
"You could." she agreed. "But I know you wouldn't."  
  
"How do you know?" she raised her eyebrow. 'She  
  
always tells me it's unladylike but at least she can't see  
  
me now.'  
  
"First of all it would take a long time the break a new  
  
servant and quite frankly I don't think that you really want  
  
to."  
  
Relena nodded agreeingly. "You're 1 out of 1."  
  
"Second firing me will not get you out of the bathroom."  
  
Relena only had to agree.  
  
"Third, take a shower. You're clue is this. You have to be  
  
well grombed for where we are going."  
  
"I have to be well grombed no matter where you take  
  
me! I'm a princess after all!" Relena said esasperated.  
  
She hardly used that as a reason for anythign but now it  
  
seemed like a good time.  
  
"Fourth, don't raise your eyebrow at me young lady it's  
  
very unladylike." So much for that theory.  
  
"You always say everything I do is unladylike. But we're  
  
in the middle of a war here. Don't you think that even the  
  
princess is allowed to look sloppy every now and then?"  
  
"No because a princess can definatly hire someone to  
  
make her beautiful but you don't need someone to make  
  
you beautiful."  
  
"If I don't need someone to make me beautiful then why  
  
do I have to get ready?"  
  
"It's like you have to... just take a shower." Relena smiled  
  
knowing she won something.  
  
*~*  
  
"I'm not going to wear a blindfold." the princess said after  
  
taking a bite from her bagle.  
  
"Agreed. You would look stupid and unladylike. Plus they  
  
are kind of overrated anyway with everything those couples  
  
do." she admitted.  
  
"Are we going to some park?" Relena asked antiously.  
  
"Sorry princess but the answer to that is no. And how many  
  
times have I told you to never show to much emotion towards  
  
anything. People already doubt you because of your young  
  
age if you can do anything, so you don't to prove what they  
  
think is right."  
  
"Well I would kinda like to know." She looked at Lina with  
  
puppy dog eyes.  
  
"What have we talked about?" Lina asked taking another sip  
  
of her coffee.  
  
Relena sighed.  
  
*~*  
  
Hilde looked down at her still wet nails. 'Perfect shads  
  
of ice.' She thought and then looked confused at herself.  
  
'Where did that come from?' she asked herself but she  
  
quickly brushed it off before thinking about it.  
  
It would have bothered her a couple of weeks ago but  
  
today she really couldn't have cared less. Well… maybe  
  
she did care a little but was unable to admit to ever  
  
thinking about something so trivial as that.  
  
'A lot has changed.' She reminded herself as she walked  
  
through her empty apartment. Or at least it seemed  
  
empty, it was actually quite bulging at it's sems because  
  
of the new piano she had insited on buying because she  
  
wanted to learn but never actually did, so it sat in the  
  
corner and collected dust. Yet after all that the apartment  
  
gave off a empty feeling.  
  
She walked into the living room and plopped down on  
  
the sofa, looking in the direction of her televison but not  
  
bothering to turn it on, just staring at the dark grey shadow  
  
and empty feeling it gave off. How quick it could change  
  
when turned on. 'Maybe I just need to be turned on.' She  
  
shook her head at ever having such a silly thought, after  
  
all she really wasn't like the televeision was she?  
  
Hilde looked back at her nails like a gold-digger was  
  
attracted to gold. She felt like there was some sort of  
  
magnet forcing her to look at them but it was something  
  
that she wouldn't dare repeat out loud. 'They don't look  
  
funny.' She stated as she turned them so the sun from the  
  
window caught on them. 'It's not a horrible color either.  
  
' Even Hilde being the perfectionist she was couldn't  
  
seem to find anything wrong with them.  
  
She continued to stare at them until the hands 1 foot in  
  
front of her face looked blurry. She could feel hot tears  
  
forming in her eyes but ignored them as if they would go  
  
away. "This whole breakup things got my head mixed  
  
up." She stated trying to find a reason for what she was  
  
feeling.  
  
The tears continued to stay in her eyes not leaving as  
  
if they were clinging to her eyes. "What's wrong with  
  
me?" she cried feeling as if even tears didn't dare  
  
touch her.  
  
*~*  
  
"So when do you thing Mako's coming?" Trowa asked  
  
looking around at his friends and smiling. Dou was  
  
messing around with his napkin making shapes out of it.  
  
Quatra was buzy looking over at the direction of the door  
  
and looking at his watch every 5 minutes worried about  
  
Mako. Wufei was just sitting there with his usual 'Don't-  
  
mess-with-me' look on his face along with a mixture of  
  
annoyment at the whole situation.  
  
Dou looked up from his 'masterpiece' confused. "What  
  
do you mean 'when is Mako coming?' Who the hell is  
  
Mako?"  
  
"You didn't explain it to him." Trowa looked over at  
  
Quatra.  
  
Quatra only shook his head. "I'll go see if Mako's here  
  
or if she's lost outside somewhere."  
  
Trowa nodded. Wufei all together didn't want to be  
  
part of this whole thing.  
  
"So would anyone like to explain Mako to me?" Dou  
  
asked really curios about what was going on. "How  
  
come no one ever told me anything about Mako?"  
  
"Mako is a girl me and Trowa met one night. We  
  
started talking and we've gotten close. Wufei got  
  
introduced into her later. Right Wufei?" he looked  
  
over at his friend for support.  
  
"Well is it Wufei?" Dou asked after Wufei didn't respond.  
  
Dou leaned across the table at Trowa. "What's wrong  
  
with him?" he whispered. Wufei seemed to have  
  
overheard but pretended he didn't curious about what  
  
Trowa would say.  
  
"He's been sore about being betten up by a girl." Trowa  
  
looked over at his friend.  
  
"I did not get beaten by the little weak onna! She's just  
  
a girl!" Wufei couldn't contain his anger anymore.  
  
*~*  
  
"So where exactually are we going?" Relena asked  
  
piering out the window of the limo trying to get any  
  
clue she could be her surrounding. So far nothing.  
  
"It's a suprize, Relena. You are suppose to be  
  
supirzed when we get there." Lina stated a little  
  
annoyed at her friend.  
  
"Yeah, but I don't like waiting." Relena whined she  
  
stopped looking out the window and stared at Lina  
  
instead.  
  
"A princess must learn that not everything she wants  
  
can always come immediatly and must act like an adult  
  
and learn to be patient. Being patient means more than  
  
waiting you know. It also means waiting with out  
  
complaining. Maybe you should try that."  
  
"Please, Lina." she pleaded. "Just one for clue."  
  
"You know my answer." and Relena knew what that  
  
ment, discussion closed and she went back to the window.  
  
*~*  
  
Mako entered the café an unexplainable emotion of pure  
  
happiness came over her. Not that she wanted to know \  
  
she was content enough on having it.  
  
She looked around the café trying to find any sign of her  
  
friends. 'I wonder where they are? Am I early?' she asked  
  
herself once she couldn't find them.  
  
Quatra walked into behind Mako and whispered into her  
  
ear. "Hey." He watched her jump and he smiled.  
  
"Don't do that to me." But none the less she smiled.  
  
"Can I escort a pretty lady to her table?" he offered.  
  
Mako put his arm out which he excepted. "Of course."  
  
She played along.  
  
"We're over there." Quatra pointed to the table after a  
  
couple moments of silence.  
  
Mako nodded. "So over the phone you never told me  
  
what you this was all about." She looked over at him  
  
expecting an answer.  
  
"To invite you to lunch of course." She frowned not getting  
  
the answer she excepted.  
  
"I mean really. Come on you don't expect me to believe  
  
that's the only reason you called. " she reasoned with  
  
him.  
  
Quatra sighed. "Actually we wanted to you to meet  
  
someone."  
  
Mako looked over at the table across the room and  
  
noticed someone else sitting there. Once reconition hit  
  
her she unconsciencly stopped walking.  
  
"What's wrong?" Quatra asked as he felt Mako's arm  
  
tense up.  
  
Mako just stood there for a little while in shock unable  
  
to answer. She finally found her voice after a while and  
  
responded. "Quatra your dead, once I get you alone I  
  
swear you are dead."  
  
"What did I do?" he asked incredibly confused. 'I offered  
  
to take her to the table and suddenly she's mad at me!  
  
What the hell is going on?!'  
  
"You know what you did." She stated simply as if  
  
saying drop it buddy. Seeing that Quatra didn't  
  
understand she chose to answer. "You brought Heero  
  
here even though I told you not to."  
  
"Heero? That's not Heero!" Quatra stated incredibly.  
  
"That's Dou. He just broke up with his old girlfriend  
  
for 4 years."  
  
"Ouch." Mako her face tensing up. "I'm sorry I just  
  
thought…" she trailed off and looked over at her friend.  
  
"It's okay. Dou kinda looks like Heero from behind." He  
  
stated brushing away her concern.  
  
Before Mako could respond Trowa called form from the  
  
table. "Welcome." He waved his hand even though \  
  
Quatra was leading her.  
  
"Thank you for inviting me." Mako stated as Quatra  
  
pulled a chair out for her between Dou and Wufei.  
  
"Just what I would expect." Wufei muttered but not soft  
  
enough.  
  
"What was that?" Mako laughed a little nervous.  
  
"It's a complement." Wufei stated also a little  
  
embarrassed that she actually caught it. He looked like  
  
a 6 year old boy who just caught his hand in the cookie  
  
jar. 'But he does look kinda cute that way.'  
  
"Since when do you mutter complements? Your weird."  
  
Mako made a face.  
  
"What about you Miss. Generals daughter?" he  
  
countered.  
  
'This is not going so well maybe Wufei was right about  
  
introducing people.' Quatra thought. "Dou this is Mako."  
  
He pointed over at Mako. "Mako this is Dou." He  
  
pointed over at Dou.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you." Mako responded looking  
  
Dou over for the first time. 'He's kinda cute but he  
  
doesn't look as cute Heero. He seems nice though.'  
  
"Likewise." Her stated pulling his attention over to the  
  
menu and looking it over. "A generals daughter.' He  
  
repeated. 'I guess that's not so bad just as long as she's  
  
on our team.' He shrugged. 'What am I thinking? Trowa  
  
has enough since not to befriend someone on the  
  
opposite side.'  
  
"Aren't you going to counter me weak onna?" Wufei  
  
teased enjoying himself.  
  
"Depends on if you want me to counter you or not." Mako  
  
smiled at him in a fake sweet smile.  
  
"Hmm." Wufei thought about it for a while. "Counter me."  
  
He replied challenging her.  
  
"Ok." She agreed. "So… How are you doing Dou?" she  
  
turned completely ignoring Wufei.  
  
"Aren't you going to counter me?" Wufei taped on her  
  
shoulder.  
  
"What do you call this? You want to fight and I'm not  
  
fighting with you." She smiled triumphantly.  
  
'Point for Mako.' Dou smiled enjoying himself. 'Maybe if  
  
she helps out with Wufei, I'll get used to her.'  
  
"Don't start with me Maxwell." Wufei stated angrily  
  
knowing by the twinkle in his eye Dou was up to  
  
something.  
  
"I didn't say anything… Wu-man." He laughed.  
  
"You know how much I hate being called that!" Wufei  
  
practicly had smoke fuming out of his ears. He knew  
  
half the resteraunt was staring at him but he really didn't  
  
care.  
  
"Why else would I do that?" Dou was obviously enjoying  
  
himself. He looked over at Mako and smiled, Mako  
  
smiling back.  
  
"Don't you hate it when you get left out of something?"  
  
Quatra whispered to his friend.  
  
Trowa reached over and took another sip of his drink  
  
what he had been doing practicly the whole time. "They  
  
are being weird and immature and I have no intention  
  
to join in." Trowa stated.  
  
"Come on Trowa live a little mister Ticket-Stealer."  
  
He patted him on the back.  
  
"We've been through this before. I did not steal them."  
  
"Yeah sure." Quatra said not believing a single word of it.  
  
"This is so embaresing." He added looking over at Dou  
  
and Wufei's death glare contest. Mako was just sitting in  
  
between them leaning back on her chair enjoying the  
  
show. He put his head down on the table.  
  
"Yeah it is. Hopefully the managers don't throw us out  
  
on our buts." Trowa joked.  
  
"They'll throw us out?" Quata seemed worried and he took  
  
his head off the table. "I know that everyone is looking at  
  
us and all but throw us out? You guys stop it!" he yelled  
  
at Wufei, Dou and Mako.  
  
"I was joking Quatra." Trowa laughed a little.  
  
"If you were only joking then we can go back to our  
  
fight." Mako stated.  
  
"Were do you get that?" Dou asked confused.  
  
"Do you honestly care?" she asked him in return. He  
  
shook his head. "I didn't think so."  
  
"Don't go back to your fight. We will get kicked out of this  
  
resteraunt."  
  
"They willn't kick us out." Trowa reminded.  
  
"Yeah, Quatra so be quiet." Wufei laughed rudefully.  
  
"But they will make it so we can't come back ever."  
  
Trowa admitted.  
  
"ALL OF YOU STOP IT!" Quatra yelled annoyed. "Dou  
  
stop calling Wufei, Wu-man. Wufei stop making it worse.  
  
Mako don't incurage them. And Trowa stop scaring me."  
  
They all seemed to understand as Dou put a different  
  
look on his face. "But we did beat him didn't we?" Dou  
  
looked over at Mako and gave her a high five.  
  
"They seem to be hitting it off well." Quatra stated  
  
looking over at Trowa.  
  
Trowa nodded.  
  
"Secrets, Secrets are no fun unless they're shared with  
  
everyone." Mako recited an old clique.  
  
"I told Trowa that maybe you should give her your phone  
  
number and you could talk and hang out sometime."  
  
Quatra explained.  
  
Dou looked at Quatra, Trowa, Wufei and even Mako in  
  
confusion. Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle seemed  
  
to be falling into place and Dou became angry at the big  
  
picture. "I get it. You're trying to set me up with her aren't  
  
you." He pointed over at Mako. "I'm sorry but it isn't going  
  
to work. I love Hilde, I always had and I always will and no  
  
amount of you trying to set me up on a date is going to  
  
help any." And with that he got up and left the café.  
  
"That didn't go as planned." Trowa stated after words  
  
entered his mouth.  
  
"I'm sorry for causing all of this." Mako stated remorsfully.  
  
"It's all my fault."  
  
"No it isn't." Wufei butted in. "We invited you in the first  
  
place."  
  
"He's going to be mad for a while isn't he?" Mako watched  
  
them nodd. "I want to explain to him it's all a big miss  
  
understanding. Now where do you think he went?"  
  
They all thought it over for a little bit. "He could possibly  
  
go somewhere to be alone at a park or something." Quatra  
  
offered.  
  
"I disagree. He could go somewhere to be alone but first he  
  
would go home to get his car to drive around like he usually  
  
does." Trowa reasoned.  
  
"I agree with Trowa." Wufei stated putting in his 2 cents  
  
"So. I guess we're going home huh?" Mako asked as she  
  
got up and was getting ready to leave.  
  
"Wait a minute." Trowa stated. Mako turned around to  
  
look at him. "Aren't you worried about seeing Heero?"  
  
Mako shook her head. "Well… maybe a little but there  
  
are things that are bigger than that that I have to."  
  
*~*  
  
Heero suddenly stopped workign and decided to go  
  
upstairs to eat. He walked to long steep staircase in  
  
silence. 'Wonder where everyone is?' he asked  
  
himself as he opened to door.  
  
'It seems like these days no one is home lately.  
  
Maybe it's just because they've all developed lives  
  
and I don't have one.' he stated bitterly.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*angel!*- ohhh a little cliffhanger. Sorry about not writing  
  
in a little while. But the next chapter should be out either  
  
over the weekend or at the latest by monday or  
  
tuesday. Till next time! 


	18. suicide.

Author's notes: Sorry about the last chapter looking a little   
wierd. I decided to change the layout a little and it didn't   
work.   
  
Disclamers: Gundam Wing and Sailor Moon belong to their   
respective owners and I take no clame over them. I do however   
own Ashely, Lina, and Kinal and Mako's boss along with Mr.   
Jones so if you want them ask me nicely before you take.  
  
Flames: will be treated the same as people using my characters   
without asking, by warming my feet for it's very cold in   
Missouri.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The confusion of love   
By *Angel! * A.k.a. angel of darkness  
Chapter 16  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
'I can not believe that they would try to do this to   
me!' Dou stated angrily as he stared out the window.  
  
"Is anything wrong sir?" the taxi driver asked looking  
in his rear view mirror at his angry passenger.   
  
"It's just my friends." He stated, sighing.  
  
The driver picked up the fact that he didn't want to  
talk about it and nodded. "Don't worry. Things like that happen  
all the time. I remember I used to fight like cats and dogs  
with my best friend and now we are as close as glue..."  
  
Dou just sat there ignoring the driver. 'I wish I could   
be like that.'  
  
*~*  
  
"So how much farther?" Relena asked empatiently as she   
stared out the window with no clue where she was going.   
  
"About a couple of miles if the driver doesn't get   
himself lost again." Lina stated a little annoyed but being   
poliete.  
  
*~*  
  
"Here we are." Trowa stated parking the car in the   
driveway."  
  
"Thank you." Mako answered getting out of the car.  
  
"We'll stay in the car incase he isn't here." Quatra   
offered once Mako gave them a weird look for not getting out.   
Mako nodded in agreement.   
  
*~*  
  
Heero hearing the car stopped working and decided to   
go up stairs to see what all of the commotion was about.  
  
*~*  
  
"I'm hungry." Dou stated walking going into the kitchen  
to eat.   
  
"But why would they do that to me?" he questioned.   
  
*~*  
  
"Dou we need to talk." Mako stated walking into the   
kitchen.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you." Dou replied rudefully.  
  
"Dou you have it all wrong." She started.  
  
"What do you mean I have it all wrong? What is there to  
get wrong? You got set up with me."  
  
"Dou." She started. "I wasn't set up with you okay?"  
  
"Yeah right. Mako."   
  
*~*  
  
'Mako.' Heero breathed unable to belive Mako after all   
of these years was in his kitchen.   
  
He continue to stand in the door way not noticed by Dou  
and Mako not saying a word of it.  
  
*~*  
  
"I'm telling the truth! I wasn't set up with you!" Mako  
yelled  
  
"You just don't understand anything do you? You just   
don't understand." He shoke his head and reached into the   
drawer for a knife to spread the peanut butter.   
  
"You're the one who doesn't understand Dou! I wasn't   
set up with you. Why don't you believe me! Your friends wanted   
me to help you cheer up because I know what breaking up is   
like!"  
  
"Breaking up with some one who you are just remotly   
involved with doesn't count you know."  
  
"What do you call me and Heero! What do you call   
this?!" she pushed her arm up at him angry at him.  
  
"I call it you arm." He gently pushed it away. "Now if  
you would please leave I would like to eat something because  
someone ruined my lunch." He said rudefully.  
  
Mako semed hurt by that and Heero could feel is anger   
buiding up. He was just about to jump in and teach Dou a lesson  
when Mako started to talk.  
  
"This is a scar after I tried to kill myself! Now don't  
you act like I'm some little ditz okay!"  
  
Both Heero and Dou looked at her stunded. Heero closed   
his eyes in regret at what had happened. 'it's all my fault.'  
He blamed himself.  
  
"Mako..." Dou started not sure what to say. He looked   
at her his eyes full of sorrow and regret. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"Don't be." Mako said smiling. "Everyone makes   
mistakes."  
  
"Mine just so happens to be a bit bigger right, Mako?"   
he questioned.  
  
Before Mako could reply Heero deciding that he had had   
enough walked into the kitchen.  
  
"I'm sorry Mako." Heero stated from behind.  
  
Mako turned around and gasped suprized. "Heero." She   
moaned.  
  
"It's nice to see you again, Mako." Heero said a little   
nervious.  
  
"Yeah, nice to see you to." Mako stated also nervious.  
  
Duo just stood there in amazment. "Anyone want to tell   
me what's going on?"  
  
*~*  
  
"That's it." Wufei stated annoyed. "We've been in her   
for what 10 minutes? Does it really take that long to go   
through the house and decide if Dou's in there or not? I know   
that house is big and all but come on!" He opened the door and   
got out.  
  
"Wufei get back in the car! If she did find Dou we   
should respect her privacy." Quatra yelled back.  
  
"Since when has either of you two respected some one's   
privacy. Mainly Heero and Mako's." he responded.  
  
"He does have a point." Trowa agreed. "Maybe we should   
go in and help Mako."  
  
"Fine." Quatra agreed.  
  
*~*  
  
Quatra, Trowa and Wufei stood in amazement at the   
sight of Heero and Mako in the same room.  
  
"Maybe it'll work out." Quatra whispered.   
  
"It's not like we planned this out." Trowa whispered back.  
  
"I suppose you met them." He motioned towards the group.  
  
Mako nodded. "We met a couple of weeks ago."  
  
"That's nice. So what have you been up to in the past 4   
years?" Heero asked.  
  
"Nothing much, I moved out on my own and got an   
apartment and a job at a restaurant. You?" she questioned   
looking down at her hands to nervious to met his questioning   
eyes.  
  
"Nothing much either. Become a gundam piolet." She   
nodded.   
  
"It's been nice to see you again Heero. I better be   
going." Mako said looking over at the door.  
  
"What's wrong with you people?!" Quatra asked. "After   
all this time all you two can say is little talk!" Quatra   
looked over at his friends and received a death glare from   
Wufei.  
  
Before anyone could respond the door bell rang. Mako   
wanting to get out of this aquard moment walked over to the   
door and said. "I'll get it."  
  
"Hello." Mako said opening the door. "Relena?" she   
asked amazed reconizing one of the two women at the door.  
  
"Mako?" Relena choked out. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was talking to Dou. You?" Mako stood still shocked.  
  
"She came to see Heero." Lina spoke up.  
  
"Relena?" Heero asked in regret.  
  
"Damn it." Wufei muttered. 


	19. If three is a crowd, what the hell if fo...

Author's notes: Sorry about taking so long I had the chapter mostly written (or so i thought ^_^) and then i went on a one week vactaion and decided to change it a little bit. Then I added a bunch of different pieces so now it's different, or a little different. Plus lately I've been going through a rough time with my grandmother,  
  
  
  
The confusion of love  
  
Chapter (If two is a couple and three is a crowd then what the hell is four?)  
  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
  
Silence followed all members of the party just stood their I shock about the present situation. The only one who didn't fully comprehind what was going on was Lina and she had swore to herself that she would let Relena do all of the talking, a princess activity if you would call it that.  
  
Quatre looked over at Trowa and Wufei. They all seemed to having the same thought and they all nodded together as if sharing a hidden secret together a secret that wasn't so secret.  
  
Makoto noticed them nod and looked at them confused a little angry about not understanding although it wasn't on the top of her list of things to find out. What was on the top of the list wasn't so suprizing. 'Why is Relena here to see Heero? Was she here because she and Heero are dating?' she flinced as the words sunk in. 'No.' she told herself as she shook her head. 'They wouldn't do that to me.'  
  
"What the hell does that nodding mean?" she asked rudefully the tention getting to her.  
  
Neither one of them answered her. After all what could they say? They all instead decided to leave and walked out without saying anything.  
  
The following people in the room shared a look of helplessness. Lina looked around the room confused but she hid it well being as poliete as she could, not wanting the insident with the guy who just left, Wufei, to happen again in any way shape or form.  
  
"So should any one care to explain what's going on?" Lina said instead hoping to break the ice. "I know about all of you except you." She pointed to Mako and paused. "Could you introduce yourself?"  
  
"Oh!…" Mako started. "I'm sorry. My name is Makoto Kino as you might have heard. But I'm suprized that you never heard of me before today." She shot Relena a death glare as if asking 'How could you?' and continued looked at Lina in an angelic face wanting Relena to feel bad.  
  
"My name is Lina Hudson. I'm a friend of Relena who you already know. But I am suprized that I never heard of you before. Should I have?" she asked a little worried thinking maybe Relena had talked about her and she just forgot.  
  
"Me and Relena used to go to school together. Along with Heero of course." They both looked over at Heero and he blushed slightly at the attention.  
  
Relena looked at Lina and Mako angry and confused about what they wanted to gain during this whole situation. Mako didn't seem to notice but out of the corner of her eye Lina did.  
  
"I thought you told me that Heero and you met after you had become a princess…or should I say found out about your real dad?" Lina looked over at Relena trying to make her feel bad for looking at her like she was less than her and had to shut up. She knew of the chance of getting fired and the aspect of not having anything or anyone to turn to but she didn't care.  
  
Duo looked around at the whole situation, then at Heero and found him catching a look at him. 'I'll explain it to you later.' Heero mouthed.  
  
Duo nodded in agreement.  
  
"I should probably be going and leaving you guys alone." And with that Lina left even though she didn't have the slightest idea around the mansion. Her only hope was to catch up to wherever the other gundam piolets had gone even though they left about 5 minutes before and she didn't know which way they went.  
  
*~*  
  
"You should have seen everything!" Quatre bust out practicly laughing.  
  
"I'm glad your enjoying yourself." Said his friend. Trowa on the other hand didn't find the whole thing going on funny but felt quite the oppisite thinking that it could only end in trouble.  
  
Quatre didn't seem to understand what Trowa ment by that but Wufei did. "I agree with Quatre. I mean this can only end in good things. Think about it, Trowa you are being way to paraniod for your own good."  
  
Trowa frowned and all of his friends laughed. "Why do you all insite on teasing me about this?"  
  
"Because it's fun!" Quatre teased playfully punching Trowa in the stomach.  
  
"He's right again Trowa. Maybe you're just having an off day. Every dog has it's day right?" Quatre nodded. "I could anways tease you about what Quatra just did and how it makes you both look like a couple." He laughed.  
  
"No!" Quatre shouted but all in good spirit at the same time. "I mean why let him pick on to people?" he turned to Trowa. "I'm sorry but I don't like getting teased."  
  
"Thanks a lot!"  
  
*~*  
  
Back in the other room the situation wasn't going so well. Heero kept to himself and closed his eyes quickly as if he did Relena would disappear to. He knew Mako would to if it was a dream and he didn't want her to leave. "Would you all shut up?" he yelled getting looks from everyone as if saying 'What the hell are you talking about?!'  
  
"You've always been weird Heero." Mako said but she couldn't quite figure out if it was ment to be teasing or to be serious. She shrugged.  
  
"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" Duo asked. "There is something that you all are hiding and I would like to know what that is." he looked over at Heero. "I know that you said you would tell me later but I want to know now because I have to patience of a three year-old." He then looked over at Mako. "I've only know you for a couple of hours and at first I didn't know if I liked you or not. But then I liked you and hated you but I'm not sure if that's out of the fact that I thought you were being set up with me. I hope you can be patient with me." His eyes softened.  
  
Mako looked at him speechless. He was honest with how he felt ever after the short time that he had know her. 'At least he doesn't hate me.' She reminded herself. 'But he doesn't hate me either.' He was acting like she wanted people to act around her but why was she so angry at him.  
  
"Maybe we do owe you an explaination." Heero agreed. "And we owe it to you now. Do either one of you want to explain it or should I start?" Upon recieveing no jumps from either Mako or Relena he desiced to start. "This all became about 4 years ago. A little more."  
  
"Get on with it!" Duo interupted.  
  
"Well… I got transferred to a new school after my parents died and I started to live with my aunt and her husband. At school I met Mako and her best friend Relena-"  
  
"Best friend?!" Duo chocked out laughing in shock. He glanced over at Relena and Mako who were sitting on oppisite sides of sofa not daring to look at each other but snuck a couple of quick glances at each other. 'I guess time changes people.' He laughed.  
  
"Could you be any more kind about their emotions?" Heero shot Duo a death glare.  
  
"Sorry." Duo looked at them with a fake cute innocent look on his face.  
  
"Whatever." Mako mumbled after a while. "Heero if you don't want to do it I would be happy to."  
  
Heero blushed noticing the bitterness in her voice. "Sorry M." he mumbled knowing that she has to be in the same room as Relena was seriously bringing back bad memories.  
  
"Whatever." She mumbled again. Duo could tell it was a bad habit she had when she didn't want to talk.  
  
"Anyway getting back to the point. I was how do I put it?" he glanced over at Mako for help.  
  
"Not a hard worker?" she shrugged and laughed a little but it wasn't a light hearted laugh. "That's how Kinal said it."  
  
"You told someone else?" Heero didn't hide his annoyment at her.  
  
"What does that matter? It's the past, and you said you weren't coming back." She glared at him. "Plus you never said that I couldn't say anything."  
  
Heero sighed. He didn't know why he got so jumpy. "I'm sorry Mako." Not giving her a chance to respond he continued. "I didn't pay attention much in class and didn't care about what other people thought."  
  
"I liked that about you." Mako admitted.  
  
'Sob, sob.' Relena thought.  
  
"What do you mean by 'I liked that about you'? Do you not like that about me?"  
  
Mako looked down blushing a little. "I guess I still do."  
  
"1 thing people." Duo interupted before this whole thing got any more akward. "One get on with the story, or would you like me to leave and you two can have the room to yourself."  
  
Heero cheeks turned bright red and Mako's continued to turn red. "Well… I guess…. Maybe you could stay." He stammered realizing what Duo meant.  
  
Relena and Duo shared an esaperated look. "I'd better be going. It was nice to see you both again. Can you tell Lina I'll be outside waiting?" Relena asked after getting up.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Mako muttered.  
  
"Where is Lina anyway?" Duo looked around but Relena had already left. "Do you think that she got lost in the mansion?"  
  
"Shit." Heero muttered looking around.  
  
"Maybe she caught up with the others." Mako offered.  
  
"Maybe." Duo agreed. "But they left a while before she did and she probably has no idea where she is. I'll go look for her."  
  
"But I'm not finished with my story." Heero stressed out annoyed at his friend leaving.  
  
"You can finish it later. Right now I'm gonna find the lost madian in Castle Gundam." Duo teased. "I regret that I have only one life too live protecting all of the innocent people out there."  
  
"Always one to be heroic aren't you Duo?" Heero asked.  
  
"If you don't shut up right now I might much tease you some more." Duo warned.  
  
"And what exactually would you do?" Heero raised his eyebrows.  
  
"I really should go. A madain in distress ya know?" Duo winked at Mako who suprizingly blushed.  
  
"You didn't answer my question."  
  
"Go make out with Mako." Duo winked once more and muttered something to Heero that Mako couldn't make out.  
  
They both looked at each other blushing even though they both knew he was only joking. Mako shared a sympatetic look with him. "He seems nice enough, a little spacey though."  
  
*~*  
  
"I am completely and totally lost." Lina announced looking around. She walked down immemcly beautiful hallways and paid no attention to them. He follower did the same.  
  
"That's what I knight in shining honor is for. To rescue lost damsals like yourself." Lina jumped and he laughed a little.  
  
"You're Duo right?" she asked after recovering a little.  
  
"Yep." He smiled giving her a Duo-grin.  
  
"I shouldn't have wandered off. I was trying to give everyone their peace and quiet so they could talk… and I got lost." She looked around. "I think I recognize going by here before."  
  
"These halls look all the same." He agreed. "Dark and formal and uninviting. To bad they don't fit the host."  
  
"The host?"  
  
"Quatre." He explained.  
  
"Blonde dude?" she asked.  
  
"The one and only."  
  
"So did Relena, Heero and Mako finish talking or did you just wander off bored like me."  
  
"Actually I came to find you."  
  
"Me? Why me?" she raised one of her eyebrows.  
  
"Relena's waiting for you."  
  
"Did she finish talking? It seems to early to stop." She checked her watch. " Yep it is."  
  
"She's waiting outside." He stated. "You might want to go find her."  
  
"Let her wait." She turned around and smiled at him.  
  
"You want your friend to wait outside in the cold December wind?" Duo asked incredibly.  
  
"She's not really my friend. She's my employer for about two years." She explained.  
  
"But earlier you said…"  
  
"I said that earlier because I didn't want everything to become to complicated." She butted in. "But." She started and then stopped trying to think of the right words to say.  
  
"But now it's no use because even that seems like no big deal now huh?" Duo finished.  
  
"Yep that's right."  
  
*~*  
  
"We all really should thank Duo for what he's doing for us." Quatre admitted.  
  
"Where do you get that?" Wufei questioned. "I owe that stupid American nothing."  
  
"He's digging up information on Heero and Mako for us. I had a feeling Mako wasn't completely honest with us, I'm curious to know what exactualy happened." Quatre sunk deeper into to sofa. "This is hopeless."  
  
"Nothing is hopeless my dear friend." Trowa teased.  
  
"I think this is." Quatre admitted.  
  
"I agree with Quatre here we are just sitting here and everything exciting is happening around us." Wufei sighed. "We need social lives."  
  
"I disagree. We have social lives. They just involve prying into other people's lives."  
  
"Doesn't that make us leaches? I hate leaches." He made a face.  
  
"And here I thought you like everything. I guess I lost the bet." Wufei sulked.  
  
"And who was this bet against?" Quatre asked curiously.  
  
"Myself. Look like I owe myself 10 bucks."  
  
"You're weird."  
  
*~*  
  
"Duo spacey?" Heero laughed at the thought of it.  
  
"What's wrong with that?" Mako asked smiling a little remembering their silly fights and Heero's wierdness.  
  
"How long have you exactually known Duo and the others?" he looked over into her eyes.  
  
"Why would it matter?" Mako looked down.  
  
"Because I would like to know." Heero stated.  
  
"Duo this morning." She watched Heero's eyes widen.  
  
"You've known them only from this morning? Then I really believe…"  
  
"I said I met Duo this morning, never his friends."  
  
"So when did you met the others?"  
  
"A week or so I guess. I'm not really sure we met at a concert. I met Wufei later on."  
  
"Interesting." He stroked his chin.  
  
"Dude you're getting a Dell." Mako teased grabbing his arm.  
  
"You watch to much t.v." Heero laughed.  
  
"What's wrong with t.v.?" she frowned.  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"You're weird." She leaned against him putting her head on his shoulder.  
  
*~*  
  
"I think it's a shame about Relena don't you?" Lina looked up at her saver.  
  
"I guess, but I think she diserved it don't' you?"  
  
"What did she ever do that was so bad?" Lina asked genually curious.  
  
"She's been filing you head with lies huh? It sucks to be the one not informed." He shook his head in disgust. "So what exactually is your job possistion?"  
  
"First of all I'm her servent and watch after the house while she's gone. Although, I came with her today. Second what are you talking about? No one has filled my head with lies. Relena has told me everything."  
  
"And are you saying after all that she told you, you still believe she's the victum here?"  
  
"Of course." Duo roared in laughter.  
  
*~*  
  
"It's been 15 minutes." Relena stated looking at her watch. "Lina can get home on her own. I need a bath anyway."  
  
"Does that mean you want to drive on without her?" the cab driver asked not bothering to turn around but looked at her through his rear-view mirror.  
  
"Yes it does."  
  
*~*  
  
"So this it what you both weren't making out, but you were getting pretty close I suspect that if I gave you both a couple of more minutes you would be though." Duo teased after walking into the room and finding Heero and Mako curled up onto the sofa together.  
  
They both quickly removed themselves from each other embaressed.  
  
"Duo nothing was happening really." Heero said blushing a bright red.  
  
"Sure." He stated his voice saying he didn't mean it.  
  
"Really Duo you have to believe us."  
  
"Why should I believe you? My mother always told me never to listen to people I just met." Duo teased.  
  
"Shut up." Heero stuck his tounge out.  
  
"Careful we have guests." Duo lectured.  
  
"Why don't you shut up?" Heero offered.  
  
"Wufei can tell you I never shut up."  
  
"I hate to say it but I agree with the stupid American." Wufei admitted.  
  
"I'm not a stupid American Wu-man!" Duo yelled back.  
  
"You?!" Wufei and Lina shouted in suprize staring at each other.  
  
"So what are you guys doing here?" Heero asked ignoring Duo and Wufei.  
  
"We got bored." Quatre admitted.  
  
"If would have come about 5 minutes earlier you could have seem a neat scene." Duo teased.  
  
"Go back to your fight." Mako stuck her tounge out.  
  
"We have guests over." Quatre stated. " You both cut it out. You to Wufei."  
  
"I'm your guest." Mako said.  
  
"You are Heero's old girfriend. You and Hilde don't count as guests." He explained.  
  
"No fair! Then I guess I get my own room here to?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"If I'm not a guest then I must live here huh?" she winked at him.  
  
"If does not mean that you live here Mako. It's a exception to that rule."  
  
"If there's an exception to that room then, I must be the exception to not living here." Mako explained.  
  
"No you are the only exception to this rule." Quatre stated.  
  
"But if there's an exception to every rule then isn't there an exception to that rule?" Mako smiled triumpantly.  
  
"Be quiet everyone!" Trowa shouted annoyed at the fights going on. But no one seemed to notice he talked.  
  
"Would everyone shut up!" Lina belted.  
  
"Thank you." Trowa stated.  
  
"Don't mention it. I have 4 brothers, you have to be loud in my family to get noticed." Lina said proudly.  
  
"I really should be going." Mako said. "I have to go to be at work in about 15 minutes. It was fun all of you guys." She looked over at Lina. "And girls."  
  
"Oh shit." Lina said everyone looking at her. "Relena must be really mad at me." She rushed towards the door. "Shit." She said again. "Relena left without me."  
  
"Some friend." Wufei muttered.  
  
"Shut up." Duo whispered punching his friend in the stomach.  
  
"Can you give me a ride home?" Lina asked Mako.  
  
"I would if I could but I'm late already. It takes 20 to get back to the city." She explained. "I'm really sorry."  
  
"You can get a ride from me. I have to go to." Trowa offered. "I have to go to the docter's office first to get the results from some tests back. Do you mind if we do that first?" he asked.  
  
"Not at all. It beats walking or taking a cab." Lina said staring at the clock.  
  
"So how did the tests go?" Duo asked curious.  
  
"He doesn't know yet or why would he be going you baka-head American." Wufei stated annoyed.  
  
"I was just asking how he thought everything went. You don't have to be so rude." He stopped as if consitering to go on further. "Ever since Lina and Relena came over. It's not like she is actually the girl from the store or anything." He watched Lina and Wufei's face change. "Or is she?"  
  
"Would you shut up and learn to stay out of other peoples buissness." Wufei yelled angrily.  
  
"I never stay out of other people's buisness haven't you learned that yet? I'm just like you that way."  
  
"I would never be like you Maxwell." Wufei muttered rudefully.  
  
"Like I want to be like you Wufei." Duo stated back.  
  
*~*  
  
"You are late again Mako. I thought you said that it wouldn't happened again." Her boss stated as she rushed into work.  
  
"I'm only 5 minutes late. And you used to let Kinal be late everyday and not do anything about it." She said.  
  
"Yeah. But then I changed my policy. Now you have to tell me why you are late." He explained.  
  
"Ran into old boyfriend and his friends and things just kinda got out of hand."  
  
"Oh my God are you okay?" Kinal rushed over and gave her friend a hug.  
  
"Yeah I'm fine now I guess. It wasn't anything to serious." She explained.  
  
"You're just saying that." Kinal insited.  
  
"Excuse me you two. Mako I'm glad you are okay but you and Kinal need to finish your 'girl-chat' after work. I don't pay you to talk although it seems like you do that more than anything else."  
  
*~*  
  
"It's your turn Mr. Barton." The nurse announced.  
  
"Wish me luck."  
  
"You don't need luck just go on and get out of here." Lina shooded him off.  
  
"Thanks a lot."  
  
*~*  
  
"I hate to say it. This is by far the least favorite part of my job. But you have a brain tumor Mr. Barton." He paused. "Are you alright Mr.?" he questioned.  
  
"Of.. of.. course doctor." He choked out. "How long do I have?" he questioned with a tone in is voice like he didn't want to know.  
  
"6 months." He said like this was only a routine thing. "Maybe up to a year." He added. "We have counciling availible if you need it." He said once Trowa seemed to get pale. "You want me to talk to your girlfriend waiting outside?" he asked.  
  
"Girlfriend?!" he blushed. "She's just a friend."  
  
"Maybe but she's cute. I would scoop her up if as fast as I could if I were you." He smiled hoping to get Trowa to liven up.  
  
"Maybe." He looked down. "Can I go yet?"  
  
*~*  
  
After clearing up some stuff with the nurse. (not the one he hated) he left the room to get into the waiting room. Lina not realizing what was totally going on was slocking into two chairs reading a teen people magazine from the table.  
  
"I'll see you on Tuesday!" the doctor called as Lina stood up. "She'll be there at about 3 is you want to come in that early."  
  
"3's fine." Trowa agreed.  
  
"3 for what?" Lina asked once they stepped out of the office.  
  
"I have to go to some counciling class with some med student or something. Her names Ami Mizuno."  
  
"Why would you have to go to class if nothing is wrong?" she asked stepping into the car.  
  
"First of all it isn't a class Lina, it's to help me with counciling. The docter said it might help."  
  
"Help with what?" Lina interupted.  
  
"I have a brain tumor Lina." Trowa stated sighing.  
  
"Oh my God!" Lina cried. "Are you okay?!"  
  
"Fine as I think I can be I guess."  
  
Lina reached over and gave him a hug and a kiss. Trowa looked at her funny because of her spontanious action then looked down and blushed.  
  
"What are you so damn nervious about?" Lina asked.  
  
"Nothing." He blushed harder. [stop it!] he ordered himself but his face didn't seem to obey.  
  
"Ya sure?" she questioned reaching over and grabbing her belt.  
  
"Yep." He looked away and started the car.  
  
"Has anyone ever told you that you're weird?" Lina asked.  
  
"All the time." He laughed and they both drove away.  
  
*~*  
  
The gundam pilots, (minus Trowa) all sat in the living room with a false since of comfort.  
  
"I think you owe all of us an explanation." Quatre stated after a pause looking at Heero.  
  
"Quatre!" Duo snapped. Be nice!"  
  
"No matter how I say it he owes all an explanation." Quatre explained. "I just don't want to go through all of that shit before we get it out of him."  
  
"What's wrong with you?!" Duo snapped again. "You're acting so weird!" [Does this have to do with Trowa?]  
  
"I'm sorry Duo and Heero." He sighed sinking into the sofa as if he wanted to be consumed by it. "I just don't know what's gotten into me lately." He confessed. "I haven't been acting like myself."  
  
"He's right though." Heero pipped in. "I do owe all you an explanation."  
  
"No you don't." Duo said.  
  
"I agree with Maxwell." Wufei stated.  
  
"You agreeing with Duo? How long have I really been in the lab? Who are you and what did you do with the real Wufei?" Heero teased.  
  
"Ha ha very funny. I guess we all grew up a little bit over the last couple of weeks that's all. We realized something is more important than our silly little arguments." Wufei laughed a little.  
  
"Let's all have a code of trust." Quatre interupted. "If anything what so ever is bothering someone about anything, that they can tell us no matter what."  
  
"I agree." Heero stated. "Being the perfect soldier isn't eazy."  
  
"You try being the God of Death." Duo teased. "It's really hard."  
  
"And what is so hard about your job?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Nothing." Dou smiled.  
  
"Whatever." Wufei muttered rolling his eyes. [Why do they all act like such baka-heads sometimes?]  
  
"You know I hate it when you roll your eyes like that." Quatre stated.  
  
"That's why I do it." Wufei smiled as he cracked his knuckles.  
  
"You know I could beat you up anyday." Duo stated standing up.  
  
"In you dreams." Wufei added cockily as he stood up and glared Duo in the eyes.  
  
"No in your's wu-man." Duo smiled as Wufei glared agrily at him.  
  
"You know you're gonna pay seriously for that."  
  
"And they were acting so nice to each other." Quatre stated. They all sighed deeply.  
  
*~* 


	20. unexpected friends (part 1)

Author's notes: I tempotrairy got stuck on this chapter so i decided to post this part and then let the other part come out when it decides to.  
  
The Confusion of love  
by *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness  
Chapter Unexpected friends (Part 1)  
  
The ride home for Trowa was a long one as so many thoughts ran through his head, thoughts he never had or even dreamed of having before. [6 months.] he thought sighing. [That means than my middle age would have been when I was 12.5] he shook that thought off. He didn't need to think about things like that right now.   
  
Trowa was trained to handle death on a everyday basics and never to stop until your enemy was dead. He went into his job knowing that there were no sure things, that he could die at any given moment. Trowa actually enjoyed that thinking about how dieing a hero young was better than dieing a long hard death later on in life. But how come the fact that he was dieing from a diesies have such a big influence.   
  
Trowa who never cried before since he was little felt like crying now for all of the emotions runing though his head. [God I need to talk to Catherine right now.]  
  
*~*  
  
The med student walked though the long empty hospital halls in silence. She held her books close to her chest with her face not expressing any emotion what so ever. But but her body said everything her face didn't and screamed of an air of sadness.  
  
"Ami." A voice calling after her. She quickly stopped reconizing who the voice belonged to. [Zoeysite.] he thought her heart pounding. "What is it Zoeysite?" she questioned turning around.  
  
"You forgot your purse." He stated holding it out for her.   
  
"Oh." Ami couldn't help from hiding her dissapointment.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" he asked clueless.  
  
Ami sighed on the inside. "No there isn't." she reached out and grabbed her purse, their fingers touching slightly. She quickly turned away bluching.  
  
"Has anyone ever told you that you're weird?" he joked deeply confused about his friend's behavior.  
  
"Hmp." She muttered.   
  
"I'll never understand women. I'm suppose to be some genius but women are to weird for me." He put his hand behind his head and laughed.  
  
"Suppose?" she turned around and looked at him and raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Okay, so I am a genuis so sue me."   
  
"I'm a med student not a lawyer. That stuff is way over my head." She admitted. "I do like Law and Order though."  
  
"Me to." He stated. "But I've come to a conclusion. Women aren't weird. Only you are."  
  
"What ever Zoeyzite." She smiled.  
  
"I better be getting back. You know how Dr. Howard gets when you're late. Bye." And with that he walked off.  
  
"Bye." She said after a while but he was to far away for him to hear anything. [Smooth Ami, smooth.] she muttered walking off in the other direction.  
  
*~*  
  
Hilde walked down the mall and just stared into the widows not bothering to go inside knowing her paycheck wasn't coming for another week.  
  
She stopped in front of a bridal shop and stared in the window her eyes almost immediately falling upon a simple dress, a couple of tears building up in her eyes. She started to go inside she walked up to the dress and started to feel it.  
  
"Would you like to try it on?" she heard a voice call from behind her.   
  
She turned around and saw a cute sales man. "Sure." She bluttered out fast not knowing what else to say besides. 'no I'm just looking.'  
  
"The dressing rooms are in the back. You call me if you need a bigger size."  
  
"Okay." She answered taking the dress off the rack.  
  
Hilde stared at herself in the mirror extremely excited about how it fit.  
  
"Are you ready yet?" she heard him call.  
  
She paused realizing how long it took her. "Yeah." She called back opening the door and walking out.  
  
"I see it fits perfectly." He stated sounding happy. "Do you like it?" he asked noticing the glow in her face.  
  
"Yeah I do." She admitted. "It is exactlly what I wanted."  
  
"Good. I'm happy to see you're happy. Do you want to buy it?"  
  
"Yes." She stated. "But I don't get paid until next week."  
  
He quickly interrupted. "Don't worry we have a layaway program where we can hold the dress for up to 2 weeks and then we divise payment plans."  
  
"I'll do that then." She said walking back to the changing room.  
  
*~*  
  
Hilde arrived home a happy feeling overcoming her as she daydreamed about her and Duo's wedding, the thought that her and Duo broke up not coming to her mind. She colapsed into her bed not bothering to change, she instandly fell asleep.  
  
*~*  
  
Across town someone else wasn't in the same boat. Mako stared up at the ceiling her bed and just couldn't fall asleep.  
  
"Maybe we really were through 4 years ago and I was just a idiot and held on for longer than nessicary.  
  
*~* 


	21. unexpected friends (part 2)

Author's notes: Going off to vacation soon and wanted to get this next chapter out as soon as possible, a reason why it is so short, Hopefully i'll get the next chapter out when I get back.  
  
The Confusion of love  
Part 2  
by *angel!* a.k.a angel of darkness  
  
  
  
"I hate myself." Heero muttered as he took one final look at himself in the mirror.   
  
"You're not so bad. Other people need to hate themselves." Wufei smiled   
  
"Wufei." Heero said in shock as he looked back. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to apoligize. I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier and took it out on you."   
  
"It's okay. It's not like it's never happened before."   
  
"Are you saying I loose my temper a lot?" Wufei raised his eyebrow. "Then I'm sorry that I ever tool anything out on you."  
  
"You know how much I hate that." Heero frowned.  
  
"I know you hate it. That's why I do it." Wufei raised the other eyebrow.  
  
Heero growned and turned away only to find Wufei's reflection in the mirror. "You seem to be everywhere I look. What's with you?"  
  
"I'm everywhere you want to be." Wufei smiled.  
  
"You look like a clown. You can be so rediculouis sometimes."  
  
"What's wrong Mr. Perfect soldier? To much emotion for you?" Wufei teased, this time going to far.  
  
Heero seemed hurt by that one and looked down. "Is that what all of you think of me as? I'm tired caring all of your asses if that's how you feel about me then maybe I'll just leave."  
  
"Heero I was only teasing. It was a joke. Ya know where you playfully make fun of someone else."  
  
"I know what a joke is Wufei. I am human." He responded dryly.  
  
"Don't take it personal."  
  
"Wufei the thing is I do take things like that personal. Maybe 5 years ago I would have laughed but not now. Now I've grown up and realized everything that's going on, all of the innocent people dying. I have no time to laugh." he responded emotionless.  
  
"You have to be happy sometime." Wufei insisted.  
  
"Not when a war is going on. When will you all grow up and realize the lives of hundreds of innocent people are in your hands and you are responsible for them. I don't care about living a happy life. I care about having all of those people alive."  
  
"You can still have fun. Think about Makoto. You deserve to be happy like Hilde and Duo are…." again Heero griminced.   
  
"I deserve to love someone and then have them leave me?" Heero interrupted. "I took on this job knowing that I wouldn't be able to have a life. Duo seemed to have forgot that and that's why him and Hilde didn't work out. Face it Wufei once you sign onto this job there is no hope of ever having a normal life."  
  
"You deserve Makoto. She still likes you Heero and you know that. Why else would she have ever come here if she didn't still have feelings for you?"  
  
"She has feelings for me alright. She's full of sympathy." Heero muttered.  
  
"Heero she still likes you. You don't have to be so blind about it. Don't be a jackass and screw up you're second chance." He insited.  
  
"You have no right to call me a jackass Wufei. People don't get a second chance. I walked away from her and that's a consequence I'm going to have to face the rest of my life."  
  
"You took this job to get her father's approval. You wouldn't have liked her if you didn't want his approval. Plus you keep a picture of her in the cocpit of your gundam." "Right?" he added once Heero hadn't said anything.  
  
"I'm just…" Heero started but shook his head.  
  
"You're just what?" Wufei asked softly placing his hand on Heero's shoulder.  
  
"It's stupid." He looked up at Wufei  
  
"Come on. I've probably heard Duo say stupider things before." Wufei smiled reasuringly at Heero.  
  
"I'm scared. Scared of loosing her again. Scared of dying and leaving her alone and causing her pain. Scared of what will happen if I give it a second chance. Scared of what will happen if the enemy gets her. But you proably don't understand." he looked away this time towards the window, where Wufei's reflection couldn't be seen.  
  
"Actually I do. When Merren died I was scared about all that happened. I was scared of what to do without her living in a place where everyplace had a memory of her. So one day I decided to it was to much so I packed up and left." Wufei shrugged. "And then I ended up here."  
  
Heero turned around "So two of the most supposiedly cold hearted people actually have emotions." Heero smiled a weak smile.  
  
"Damn straight. So I'm going to bed. I'll make you a deal if I control my temper better, will you consiture thinking over your decision?" Wufei winked at him.  
  
"Don't you start that." Heero warned.  
  
"You know you like it." Wufei insited.   
  
"Whatever. I'll think it over." he paused. "You can leave now."  
  
"If you want me to." Wufei pretended to be turn and Heero smiled for the first time in a long time.  
  
*~*  
  
Quatre paced back and forth in stress. [Where could he be?] he questioned himself. [Maybe Wufei is right, maybe I do worry to much. No.] he shook his head. [Wufei doesn't worry enough about things. I'm suppose to be worried right? It's something to be worried about right? Maybe.] But Quatre never got to finish as he heard a door slam.  
  
"Trowa there you are!" Quatre practicly yelled after his friend came into the house.  
  
"Sorry I'm late." Trowa said lamely.  
  
"Did they find anything?" Quatre asked anctious.  
  
"Nope." Trowa lied. He flinched a little and if Quatre noticed he hid it well.   
  
"That's a relief." Quatre smiled fakly.  
  
"Yeah. I'm going to bed now." Trowa said wanting to get away from Quatre.  
  
"Sure. Night." Quatre said his voice full of different emotions  
  
*~*  
  
Trowa lay in bed unable to sleep. Why had he lied to Quatre? he asked himself as he stared up at the celling. Quatre was his friend, how could he lie to his friend? Trowa growned realixing he wouldn't get any sleep that night and reached over to the phone.  
  
"Hello." Catherine greeted after answering the phone.  
  
"Hey it's me." Trowa stated.  
  
"Trowa?" Catherine asked in shock. "I was so worried you were dead. I haven't heard from you in a long time. Why are you suddenly calling?"  
  
"I'm not dead. But I want to talk to you about something."  
  
"What kind of something?"  
  
"I just went to the docter earler to get the results from some tests that I had run."  
  
"Tests?! Oh my god Trowa are you alright?" she interupted fearfully.  
  
"I'm fine now. But it turns out I have a brain tumor."  
  
Trowa could hear his friend almost hyperventalating. "Catherine are you alright?"  
  
"Come home now." she choked out before hanging up.   
  
*~*  
  
"I'm worried about Trowa." Quatre stated the next morning at breakfast.  
  
"Did he get the results of his tests back?" Wufei asked taking another sip of his coffee.  
  
"Yeah. He said that they didn't find anything."  
  
"You are worried that he has something really serious that they don't know about?" Duo questioned.  
  
"No. I don't believe that he was complety truthful about it."  
  
Wufei nodded. "I know, Trowa is the worse liar ever. You should confront him and ask for the truth."  
  
"I disagree. Wufei's method isn't going to do anything but cause more complecations. If Trowa isn't ready then you shouldn't push him to do anything that he isn't ready to do. He will talk to you when he's ready." Duo stated.  
  
"Do you always like to disagree with me?" Wufei complained. "It's quite annoying."  
  
"I only disagree when you are wrong."   
  
"I'm going to let that one slide today." Wufei stated.   
  
"What makes you so forgiving today?" Quatre questioned.   
  
"That's none of your damn buissness." he smiled.  
  
Heero came in and gave Wufei a glare as he sat down.  
  
"Sorry but cussing wasn't included."   
  
"Included in what?" Quatre questioned.  
  
"That's none of your damn buissness." Wufei repeated. "So what's the answer?"   
  
"Yes to your point." Heero shook his head. "I don't even know why i agreed to it in the first place."  
  
"I'm glad." Wufei smiled rasing his eyebrow.  
  
"Don't you dare start that again." Heero warned. "I better be going. Gundam parts don't walk here on their own."  
  
"I'll go with you. I need to finish talking to you." Wufei offered standing up.  
  
"Hmm." Heero said. "Doesn't look like I have a choice."  
  
"What do you think that was all about?" Quatre asked once they left.   
  
"Don't know, don't care." Duo responded.  
  
"Really?" Quatre asked in disbeflief.  
  
"Nope. I was just joking. but contronting is the worse way to go deal with this. Comunication not confrination is the key. Tell Trowa that no matter what is wrong you will always be there and you are willing to waight until he is ready."  
  
"I guess you are right. I'll talk to him after he gets up."  
  
"I'll go with you when you talk to him if you want."  
  
" He usually doesn't get up this late. This makes me ever more nervious."  
  
"You're a walking stress machine." Duo paused and laughed. "Maybe you need a ball to squeeze."  
  
"Those don't work on stress, only anger." Qautre laughed a little.  
  
"Maybe we need to get Wufei one." Duo suggested.  
  
"He and Heero were acting wierd earlier." Quatre pointed out.  
  
"They both seemed happy. Or happier than they are usually."  
  
"I agree. They almost seem like they don't have a care in the world. I remember when I felt like that last."  
  
"Me to." Duo agreed and he did, all to well.  
  
*~*  
  
"So how does the great genius plan on giving Mako a second chance?" Wufei questioned.   
  
"Haven't gotten that far. But I do want to take it slowly."  
  
"First you should figure out if she wants to give it a second chance."  
  
"But i thought that you said she wanted me."  
  
"She might, but you can never be sure with women. It seems like she does though."  
  
"I'll never understand women." Heero admitted.   
  
"Who does?" Wufei offered. "But you do need to talk to her."  
  
"What if I sound to desperate?" Heero sighed. "I never thought love was so damn confusing."  
  
"Welcome to the real world." Wufei smiled. "Sounding desperate isn't always a bad thing."  
  
"So you're saying sound desperate."   
  
"Kinda. But you have to be romantic to."  
  
"This is to confusing." he sighed frustrated.  
  
*~*  
  
When Hilde woke up the next morning her good mood was shattered like a glass ball dropped out the window. "What have i done?" she asked herself angrilly. "I just wasted a lot of money that could have been spent on something usefull.  
  
But part of her wanted to keep it, the same part of her that still believed that Duo and her could work out all of their problems.   
  
"I hate myself." she said as she got out of bed and prepared for the day ahead of her.  
  
*~*  
  
"Morning Trowa." Quatre said as his friend walked into the room. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Hmm." Trowa muttered. He looked over at the clock. "2 oclock. Looks like I might be late."  
  
"Late for what Trowa!" Quatre yelled angrily. "I hate it when you get like this Trowa and you know it. You say something and willn't tell me what it means. I'm your friend Trowa, you need to tell me something before I explode!"  
  
"It's none of your buissness where I'm going Quatre. You need to learn to stop prying into everything everybody does, expersiouly me."  
  
"I was just worried about you Trowa. You know that, sometimes I just get so nervious and I feel like you're hiding something from me and it hurts that you can't trust me." Quatre's face lightened.  
  
"I'm not hiding anything from you." Trowa lied.   
  
Quatre could feel he was lieing and decided to leave. "Remember I'll be there for you if you need me." he touched Trowa's shoulder before leaving.  
  
*~*  
  
"Mr Barton I presume." Ami said looking him over.  
  
"Yes. But please call me Trowa." he interjected. [She's a lot different than I imagined her.]  
  
"Okay, Trowa. I would like to start out by saying my name is Ami Mizuno. This is my first counciling session ever. So I'm a little." she paused.  
  
"Nervious?" he offered. "It's my first session either."  
  
"Right. So we can be newbies together. I'm not sure were to start. What would you like to talk about first?" she appeared to be writing on her notebook.  
  
"I'm not sure." he shrugged his shoulders. "What would you like to talk about?"  
  
"How did you feel after being diagnosed?"  
  
"At first I was shocked. I mean what am I suppose to feel? I called Catherine. She's a friend of mine that doesn't live around here. She always gave me the truth" he explained once Ami looked confused. "Now she told me she wants me to come home."  
  
"How did your family take it?"  
  
"I don't have any family." he admitted. "Catherine is as close to family as I have."  
  
"Do any of your friends know?"  
  
"No. Quatre asked me what the test say and I said they said I was fine."  
  
"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" Ami asked. "I mean I would like to know if one of my friends was sick?"  
  
"I was so confused at that point to really say anything, Quatre can be a little native at times, I just wanted him to be happy I didn't want to hurt him."  
  
"You dieing all of a sudden and having him know you lied to him will not make him feel better."  
  
"I realize I'm going to die Ami. I know that, but why does it matter if he knows or not? It's not like it's going to change anything. Quatre is native. Even if he did know, it's not going to help him. He's just going to believe that I'm really going to die." he explained.  
  
"He should know the truth." Ami disagreed. "What about your other friends?"  
  
"Duo is dealing with a breakup with his girlfriend pretty badly. Heero is dealing with the reurn of his old girlfriend who he hasn't gotten over. Wufei seems to be more angry than usual." 


	22. why?

The confusion of love

By *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness

            There is one thing that Heero and Wufei never dreamed of seeing. And that one thing happened to be standing right in front of them. It seemed like such an opportunity. /A Silver Opportunity. / Wufei thought. /Or something like that. / It seemed so perfect, like fate, if Wufei actually believed in that crap. 

            "Well hi." Hilde stated nervously. "It's nice to see you all again, but I better be going."

            "You're not going anywhere." Heero stated grabbing his arm. Hilde knew that voice. He was angry. 

            "What do you want?" Hilde asked. Knowing she probably looked like a deer caught in head lights. And that's exactly how she felt. Well she knew she couldn't run forever, the deer was caught.

            So it had begun.

*~*

            The session was over. Ami was no longer the student trying to council the patient, and Trowa was no longer the patient. Trowa seemed embarrassed that a stranger knew more about him than he liked and he knew nothing about her. 

            For a while they just sat there in silence, Ami had said all that she could and Trowa defiantly didn't want to talk about it any more. Ami looked at her watch, a nervous habit she had. "Its past 6, are you hungry?"

            "A little." Trowa admitted.

            "Do you want to go get something to eat?" Ami offered. "I'm off work now."

            /Why not? / Trowa thought. /What was the harm in it? / "I would love to."

*~*

            "Why did you break up with Duo?" Heero offered bluntly. 

"Do you know how bad you hurt him?" If their was one thing Wufei wasn't it was being patient. 

_We are so different Duo. I have to live on a schedule, and you can't. Sometimes the littlest things that you do bug me. A flashback to what she had said earlier to Duo popped in her mind even against her will. __One little mistake!? You take forever in to get ready, you're always late, you always forget stuff, and you always act like it's no big deal when you do forget something! "I couldn't take it anymore." Hilde admitted after a while._

"You couldn't take what?" 

"Our relationship. All my life I dreamed of having a family. With this war going on I didn't think that Duo wanted that." 

"Did you ask him about that?" 

"We always joked around about it, but that was all it was joking around, you can never tell when Duo is actually serious." With that the two other Gundam pilots had to agree on. "I loved Duo I still do, but loving someone doesn't mean that you can stay in a relationship with them."

"You hurt him really bad." Wufei stated again. "You should talk to him about it. He's miserable with out you."

/So am I. / Hilde almost added. "Right now I need more, I need something more stable, someone to lean on, he can hardly take care of himself, much less a family. You can understand that can't you?" 

Both of them could, but Hilde was showing part of herself she hadn't show to them before, her stubbornness. "Being in a relationship means you have to adapt a little." Heero stated. "You have to be willing to change a little."

"I don't want him to change Heero. I love him the way he was."

"So you want him to stay the same way, never stable, to never be able to have a relationship with anyone again?" Heero accused. "To hold onto his memories of you forever?"

"Duo is willing to change for you, to be a better person, Hilde. Don't you want him to change for you?" Wufei added.

"No I don't. If Duo is willing to change he should do it for himself and not for me."

"Doesn't that say something about how much he cares about you. Admit it, having a family without Duo is worthless to you isn't it?" Wufei stated.

"I should be going." Hilde stated as she turned to leave, not wanting to answer the questions being asked of her.

Wufei started after her, until Heero lay a hand on his shoulder. "Don't."

Wufei nodded and they to walked off, in the opposite direction. 

*~*

            Trowa and Ami strolled though the park licking their ice cream and talking along the way. Somehow talking to Ami was both relaxing and refreshing, Trowa felt he could talk to her.

            As they walked they passed a couple eating a picnic, trying to get their 4 year old son to stop chasing the ducks and come and eat. "Do you want a family?" Trowa asked casually.

            "Of course I do. Doesn't everyone?" Ami asked in return.

            "I would hope so. But who do you want a family with?"

Ami looked down and blushed. "So there is someone." Trowa smiled. "Who?"

"Some guy at my work." Ami said softly embaressed. 

"Does he know?" Trowa pushed harder.

"No he doesn't. He constantly teases me."

"You should go after him, that is as long as he isn't married, then you could get into a lot of trouble." Trowa teased.

"Shut up." Ami said playfully pushing his shoulder. 

"Violent are we?" Trowa laughed.

*~*

            Upon Wufei's constant bothering, Heero had finaly decided to go and talk to Makoto. Apparently what he found was less than a happy reunion. 

"So you decided to just leave and break my heart." It was more of a statement than a question.

"You don't understand Makoto." Heero pleaded.

"Like hell I don't. You leave and then want me back. I'm not sure if I want that. How do I not know you willn't leave me again?" she glared at him, although tears started to build up in her eyes.

"I left to get your father's approval."

"He died for God's sake Heero! Why did you try to get the approval of someone who died?!" she interupted.

"I couldn't change the fact that i was already drafted. I had to go."

"You could have come back." she pleaded. "Why didn't you come back?"

"I thought you hated me." Heero admitted.

"I did. But that was because I needed you Heero. I was mad at myself for having to depend on you.  I was all alone after Relena left. You left me alone and I had no one. That's when I tried to kill myself."

"Do you still blame me for everything that happened?"

Did she? Makoto pondered the question for a while. "I don't know, should I Heero?" she accused.

"Makoto I need you." he pleaded. "I thought you still liked me Makoto, but i guess I was wrong. Why did you come back if you didn't still have feelings?"

"Heero, you left me. I didn't know what to do. I was curious to see if you were happy without me. It seems like you  and Relena are really happy together." she said bitterley.

"Makoto you know that that isn't far." He said pleading with her, pleading for her to understand.

"You leaving me and not coming back wasn't fair. Hell life isn't fair Heero you need to learn to get used to that."

"Makoto why are you being so bitter about this?" Heero asked.

            "Makoto I need you." he pleaded. "I thought you still liked me Makoto, but i guess I was wrong. Why did you come back if 

you didn't still have feelings?"

            "Heero, you left me. I didn't know what to do. I was curious to see if you were happy without me. It seems like you  and 

Relena are really happy together." she said bitterley.

            "Makoto you know that that isn't far." He said pleading with her, pleading for her to understand.

            "You leaving me and not coming back wasn't fair. Hell life isn't fair Heero you need to learn to get used to that."

            "Makoto why are you being so bitter about this?" Heero asked.

            "Because you obviously aren't taking the hints Heero. You left me, now after 4 years you want me back. What am I suppose to think Heero?" /I'm bitter and angry and I want you back all at the same time. /

*~*

            "Where exactly have you been?" Quatre asked accusingly when Trowa walked into his bedroom, Quatre who was sitting down on his bed stood up. Seeing that Trowa didn't answer him he continued. "Do you have any idea what time it is? Do you know how much you worried me wondering if something had happened to you?"

            "I never meant to make you worry." Trowa answered amazed at Quatre's concern. 

            "I don't understand this Trowa." Quatre admitted tears coming to his eyes even though he ordered them back.

            "You don't understand what?" Trowa asked confused.

            "I don't understand _this. Right now." Trowa reached out for Quatre who surprising Trowa pushed away. "This is what I'm talking about. I'm feeling attracted to you, more than just a friend and I don't understand it. All of this time I just wanted to be in your arms." He looked up at Trowa. Please hold me. His eyes begged. Forget what I'm saying and just hold me. _

            "Quatre." Trowa again reached out and Quatre accepted. "What's wrong with me?" Quatre cried into Trowa's chest. 

            "There isn't anything wrong with you." Trowa assured him running his hand through the short man's hair.

            "I don't want to be different." Quatre continued to cry. "Is this what someone gets with having a lot of sisters?"

            "There isn't anything wrong with being different." But it seemed that no matter what Trowa said it didn't seem to help. Once Quatre had stopped crying Trowa convinced him to lie down on his bed

            "Aren't you going to stay?" Quatre asked once Trowa seemed to be leaving. Trowa smiled and lay down beside him, where Quatre curled up laying his head on Trowa's chest. 

            That was how they woke up the next morning.

*~*

            Relena felt like shit, and it was probably justified. After all she had fallen in love with her best friends ex-boyfriend, one she had thought Makoto harbored no more feelings about. 

            So there Relena lay in bed, obviously considering what was to be done. /I'm so sorry Heero and Makoto. What have I done?/

*~*

            Lina lay to in the other room not sleeping as well. She was defiantly confused about everything that had happened the past couple of days. Who wouldn't be? She was beginning to see her boss and supposed friend in a completely different way a way she didn't like to see.

*~*

Author's notes: sorry about taking so long to update, I've been having a little trouble trying to figure out how to finish this story. I know this chapter is short but I don't have much time till we leave. I'm not really satisfied with it but maybe you will be.


End file.
